Are You Running Things Past Yourself First? By Vanessa Finnigan
Sometimes in life, we try to find the ‘reality’ of a situation or seek some ‘realistic’ feedback from others. Well, people will often look at us through their own filters and perceptions and if we buy it as ‘the truth’, then we will always be at the mercy of other people’s opinions.
I receive at least one hate letter each year (a different person each time) and they tell me how much my magazine sucks because it’s not all about the one modality and therefore it is not a contribution to the planet. Then I have other people tell me I include too many recipes from that one perspective in the magazine and why don’t I give the other perspectives a go. I have also been criticised for including too many articles in the one magazine, but then received calls from freelance writers asking me why I can’t include more stories. Seriously! If I was trying to find out the reality of this situation, my head would run around in circles for eternity!
There were also the personal comments I received in the first few years of starting the magazine: “You are quite shy and humble, but you hide behind the magazine, people want to know who you are.” So when I did share more of me, speaking at events and promoting some of my events, then I sometimes had people say, “Your job is more about supporting other people, don’t let the ego get in the way” and “People engage more with people who are not a threat.”
I did buy into these comments at times and that was when I was judging myself and putting their opinions first, as if they knew the ‘reality’ of the situation. But other people don’t know where we have come from, what we have been working on, or our heart intent. Sometimes when we are being something different they will whack a label on it, to make it easier for them to deal with. But if we try to change ourselves to suit everyone’s opinion, we are not only going to be nervous wrecks, we are also at the mercy of what others think we should be and do, which is not fun!
These days when I look at all these sorts of opinions above, I just laugh. If we all owned our ‘beautifulness’ and saw it in others too, would we need to judge anyone anymore? And also when people say, “all judgements you receive are based on the fact that you are still judging, it’s a mirror, you have attracted it,” that is not always true either, it’s more about our reaction to the judgements. When we start shining our light (as we are all here to do in our own, unique way), sometimes it brings up a lot of stuff for other people. They may start to think about how they are not being who they really want to be or reflect on what is missing in their life. But isn’t this part of the gift of growth with connecting with others? Other people can be our catalysts for change and assist us to get clear on what we would like to create for our lives. We can all create our heart’s desires, it’s not reserved just for the ‘special’ ones.
So how would it be if you ran everything past yourself first, instead of asking other’s for their opinions? There is a deeper place within where you know! And sure, there is always room for improvement with projects and collaborative input and you can go about that with gentleness and care. And…..the more you trust and acknowledge yourself and your creations (this is not being ‘up yourself’ by the way), the more things grow and expand!