AN OPTIMISM FORMULA BY NICKI MCCOSKER DELL

We all know how life tests us, sometimes over and over again. One very big test for me was pregnancy. Just days after I (very unexpectedly) discovered I was pregnant, I found myself standing in pristine rainforest in Dannum Valley, Borneo. We had trekked to the wilds of this magical place, and I was feeling distressed by my intense nausea and my sense of great fear and anxiety about my abilities to take care of a baby in this world.

We were on a rainforest walk one morning, and I will always remember our guide suddenly and excitedly pointing out that a mum orangutan and her baby were in the trees just ahead. The flame-haired mum saw us, swung through the trees right near us with her baby on her back, and then quickly disappeared into the canopy. It was one of the main reasons we’d travelled so far – to see wild orangutans. It was so special, and it gave me a glimmer of hope that if she could cope with motherhood in this world, then perhaps so could I.

Fast forward 13 years, and oh my how motherhood has challenged me over and over again, but I have also learned so much about what I am capable of. I have also over this time created a number of tools that help me to cope better with challenges and keep hold of a sense of optimism. One that I draw from regularly is my Optimism Formula. Here it is;

Fully welcome and go after your dreams that contribute to you living your best possible life. Dreams and goals are an integral key to accessing happiness and creating balance. Definitely, there are times when life is too overwhelming or challenging to have the headspace for working toward a dream, and yet coming back to them to help create a bit more stability during difficult times can significantly help in the process of finding resources that lift you up
Choose to guide your mind so that you are careful of and aware about what you are giving your energy to and focusing on (watch out for an upcoming article of mine giving you a great tool to help with this)
Have a number of practices for processing and working through distressing, derailing or overwhelming emotions (like BALM for example)
Trust in your inner compass, and therefore trust in yourself and your ability to do everything you can to make your dreams a reality. You will find confidence in holding onto the strong belief that no matter what, you will do all you can to find the solutions that you need
Resolve dis-empowering beliefs/programs and old trauma that is holding you back or creating barriers
Understand, prioritise and nurture your Everyday Touchstones (a tool that I shared here)
Commit to taking the many small steps that are needed to take you toward realising your dreams and creating the life that you want (this will involve committing to facing your challenges along the way)
Commit until the very end – either until your dream is realised or you come to a point that you definitely can not move any further, or alternatively you have without any doubt lost all energy for the dream or goal and it’s time to let it go

This optimism formula helps me so much in staying true to embracing my dreams and transforming my challenges. Trekking to Borneo to see the beautiful orangutans was definitely an adventure that I made happen because I had a powerful dream to see them up close in the wild. It just goes to show that embracing our dreams can lead us to some truly wild and wonderful places.

Nicki adores helping her clients to embrace their dreams and transform their challenges. She is a Mentor and Counsellor, and the founder of The Inspiration Couch. Nicki provides Mentoring, Counselling, Resilience Coaching and Creating Balance Sessions.