I spend a lot of my time helping others to understand about healthy relationships and what that looks like. I recently had a session with a beautiful woman who has just stepped away from a toxic relationship. She was heartbroken, confused and hurt. Anger was starting to bubble up from her solar plexus and another layer of bricks was being laid around her heart.
I watched her as she shared her thoughts and emotions. I watched as she cried and when she paused to ask me what was wrong with her, my own previously shattered heart was triggered. I knew those feelings she was experiencing, I knew what it felt like to be discarded. Yesterday’s news.
As I watched her share her story, I took note of all the little subliminal tactics her now ex had used to keep her isolated from others, to keep her only wishing to seek his approval. I saw her change from the beautiful light that attracted him, to the shell she felt she now was without him. She shared a time where she had put on a beautiful dress and felt amazing, only to be told she looked OK. Her shoulders hung low. My shoulders squared off. I have seen this control tactic a million times over. I asked if anyone else commented on her that night – every other person noted how stunning she looked, all but the one person she wished would notice her beauty, the way he used to.
Often in relationships we lose portions of ourselves as we so fiercely chase love and acceptance from others. Our boundaries are tested; our desire to be loved by another overshadows our ability to love ourselves. And when that relationship comes to its expiry, we are left with very little to rebuild, to put the broken pieces back together. Often times, we seek another relationship to fill this void, a welcome distraction from our hurt and confusion. It is in these precise moments that we should study ourselves and learn how to break these patterns.
An advocate for the evolution of self, I will never tire of watching those moments when a client starts to recognise their wealth, their value and what they bring to the table.
I’m Johnita Francis, The Modern Oracle. I work as a Sacred Soul Healer, specialising in improving quality of life using intuition to unravel mysteries, release tension and support soul growth.
Private Bookings are available www.insightsbyjohnita.com
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