The past experiences create our thoughts, behaviours, beliefs – somewhat our sense of self, sense of pride and a sense of victimisation, especially when we have experienced injustice.
It creates a matrix of our identity that we get attached to. The old stories often continue to send us in a rabbit hole of guilt, shame, blame, resentment, bitterness and unforgiveness for ourselves and others. And as we drop the old stories, our identity drops too.
That’s why it’s so hard to let go of anger, bitterness, resentment, jealousy and similar emotions. It feels comforting that way – staying in an unforgiving state and blaming others for being there. It skips the part of taking the accountability and responsibility of our state.
The whole crisis of losing the identity that’s based on old stories is debilitating.
Hence, when we are jolted from sleep walking or the old self, we start waking up to the web of woven tales, and it hurts to clip off all that we thought we were. It feels like we are about to relinquish something important. Something that kept us alive for years. But the truth is – it’s the FEAR that keeps us in place of the old – being all clogged up by the emotional hub-bub.
It feels like we are dying from inside, but actually it’s the ego that’s dismantling and we are only unbecoming. The unbecoming causes inevitable pain. It is an opportunity for us to unravel all that are part of the matrix but not you.
MATRIX is a woven web around us that forms our beliefs, behaviour, thoughts, emotions, patterns, conditioning, and above all, the FEAR of losing it. The matrix holds the past victim stories, our traumatic and bitter experiences. We often get caught up in the past that it almost becomes part of our identity.
And when we wake up, we then go to the other extreme of hating our past or clipping it off. There is no need to clip off the past or hate it. Instead, with patience, compassion and love – we can learn to embrace and accept it.
The acceptance brings flow. The flow that moves through our body creates space for the new.
In the beginning, it hurts as the deep seated criticism and judgements surface. But gradually and gently one step at a time, we become less attached, less clingy and more compassionate towards ourselves.
We hold the responsibility of our state not for blaming and guilt-tripping ourselves but with the knowing that we are the co-creators of our life.
The past cannot hold you back as it is in the past lies our healing.
It’s a subtle balance of not getting attached but still allowing ourselves to visit the experiences and bring our soul fragments back to feel the empowered being we are.
If you are at a stage where you feel something is wrong or you feel you need help to release from trauma/energetic blocks, work with me.
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