Know Thyself for a Great Relationship By Krishna Everson

Photo Annie Noon – Fotoforce Photography

Lyza Saint Ambrosena and Cameron Monley are big-hearted human beings who are passionate about community. They absolutely love people!

As spiritual leaders and facilitators of meditation events through The Infinite Connection, and founders of the 10,000 strong Southwest Queensland Spiritual Connection, they have inspired many through the example they set as a couple. I wanted to dive deep into what it means to be a couple in Lyza and Cameron’s world.

When I caught up with them, they had just landed back in Australia after a sojourn through the Canadian Rockies. Travel is one of their shared joys that they aim to do regularly.

As we open the conversation around the elements of being a conscious couple, it becomes evident that their growth as a couple has been a journey of self-discovery, vulnerability, openness and communication. Lyza begins by explaining that self-awareness and understanding your own values is essential. “Some people have been in relationships that have watered down what their values are for so many years, or they’ve had children or parents that they’ve had to care for, or they’ve been in a business where they’ve had to compromise, so they’ve been so diluted that they don’t know what their own values are. We both ended relationships, so we both kind of got really clear on what our values were, and so when we came together, those values aligned, which meant that we really were able to link well. We’re very much about the extended family, and honesty, and communication. We have a very deep level of communication and intuition with each other. So we will often talk for hours. We have that ability to see deep into one another, and really tune in.”

Being able to tune in without judgment and hold space for the other was key for the coming together of Lyza, an energy healer who had already done a lot of her own work, and Cameron, ex-policeman and entrepreneur, who had hidden a lot of emotions. Lyza recalls, “when I started to spend time with Cameron, he went into quite a big cathartic shift, which was a lot of tears, a lot of transformation, a lot of deep opening, and so I was able to hold space for him through that. Then as we started to spend more time together, he’d started to hold space for me in other ways as well. Being able to hold space for someone while they’re going through a shift is a really valuable quality in a relationship, so you don’t want to judge them. You don’t want to try and fix them. You don’t want to try and rush it. You don’t want to try and change them. You just allow them.” Cameron adds “you know, I can tell something’s not right, and I’ll say, ‘What’s wrong?’ Then she’ll just start to break into tears. I don’t have to say anything, I just have to be there for her.”

Acknowledging and aligning their individual values and making sure their goals are in sync is central to fostering their strength as a couple, and vison for their business and lifestyle. They are working together toward creating a wonderful space on a beautiful property. They are also planning their next ‘Infinite Connection’ projects; an online couples program is due to commence, and they have their sights on 2020. Cameron shares, “Depending on what happens next year, we’re going to do Channelling Divine Guidance around Australia, and I can do ‘Grease Busters’. We’ll buy a caravan, and see if we can have a work/play for six months.”

As individuals, each is a success in their own right, Lyza with her work as a spiritual healer, teacher and mentor, working predominately with women, and Cameron with his men’s counselling sessions and commercial kitchen servicing business. They are dedicated to their work individually as well as together.

Lyza maintains, “You’re not waiting on somebody else to fill you up with the talent or the gift or the qualities that you don’t have. You’re actually learning how to give that to yourself, so that when you’re with them, you’re a balanced complement. I call it being the captain of your own ship. Your ships are side by side, rather than one being on someone else’s or the other.”

Cameron declares, “I choose to be with Lyza because I love the things that we do together. We’re independent like two rods, and then it’s a lovely thing when we come together. When we started together, my cliché is I did it for love. You know, I made changes. I gave away the coffee. I gave away the alcohol. I gave away all my bad behaviour for love. Then after a period of time, whatever it was, I went, oh, I like this person. I’m starting to like the person that I am. So at that point I said, it’s not for love anymore, I’m doing it because it’s for me. I like the person that I’m becoming. That was lovely for us. You know? It was really lovely. But we work on it. It’s challenging. People say, ‘Oh my God, I’d love to be like you’.” Cameron confesses that this is not always easy.

According to Lyza, acknowledging your own triggers is essential for the personal growth needed for healthy relationship. “Take responsibility for the triggers so that you’re not taking it out on your partner. You’re actually solving it and healing it within your own experience. Sometimes Cameron will go, ‘What’s wrong?’ I’m like, ‘It’s okay, I saw a client today that had something, and it triggered me. So I just, I need a little bit of time to transmute that, to heal that.’ So then that comes into just a healthy lifestyle, helps us to transmute anything that triggers us. So as much as possible, we try to live a healthy lifestyle, but we’re very down to Earth and grounded.”

Cameron points out that rituals play a key role in fostering a positive connection as a couple and they share a saying, ‘Rituals turn to reverence.’ “We have lots of rituals for the house, for us, for everything we do. I get up first thing in the morning, I get up, light all the candles. Sounds corny, but I do that, and I put the tea on.” Lyza continues, “Yeah, we do meditation, yoga, or we might just sit. So we create that space.”

Night time rituals and date night also play a key role in fostering time together which also allows time for difficult conversations should they arise. Lyza notes, “It takes courage to say the things that are bubbling up inside you that you can see.” They are conscious of each of the five love languages and advocate for practising them all.

My interview with Lyza and Cameron was incredibly rich and insightful, but there is only so much I can share with you here. I would encourage you to connect with them and learn more at their events!

Their conscious couple essentials include:
1. Understanding and aligning your individual values
2. Shared goals and vision
3. Taking responsibility for your own triggers and emotional healing
4. Practising the five love languages

Cameron sums their partnership up beautifully. “Nothing’s perfect, but in an imperfect world, it’s pretty perfect.”
www.theinfiniteconnection.com.au
www.lyzasaintambrosena.com.au

HBliss

Vanessa Finnigan is the founder, editor, publisher of Holistic Bliss Magazine and she also offers multi-media whispering sessions. She has been a freelance writer for 15 years for magazines and a psychologist for 21 years.

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