The festive season can be one of the more challenging times, when we really struggle with the loss of a loved one.
I was compelled to write this article and share this message, because for most of us, the struggle is real. Your loved one may have recently passed, or maybe it has been a little while. No matter how long the time has been, it’s perfectly fine to take a moment to sit there with that feeling of loss.
You see sometimes we are led to believe that it’s not OK to feel our feelings, or that we need to just focus on the good times and remember them only. Well, I’m here to share that your feelings are warranted, that no one else has had your exact feelings of loss, (yes maybe their experience is similar), but that doesn’t quantify their experience is the right fit for you.
I often deliver readings for many family members, connecting to their loved one in spirit, and each one has their own connection to that loved one that is very individual, but they are all connecting with the same spirit. They also all handle their own grief in a personal way. Grief for the most part, is unique to us all, not unlike our fingerprints. So, I’m here to encourage you to connect with those feelings and just be in allowance to let them come up and be experienced.
Have your ritual. For me, I light a candle on Christmas Day and that is there in memory of my loved ones in spirit. You may have your own ritual, so go with that. It may also be the case that you are supporting someone who is experiencing grief and loss. A powerful thing to remember with this is they don’t want you to fix it or make it right, they usually want you just to be there with them and listen, this honours their grieving process.
The more you do this to help someone, the more healing this will be for them. By trying to offer a solution to their pain you are saying their feelings don’t count and that’s not helpful to anyone. Just remember grief is not unlike waves of the ocean, sometimes the tide is out and it’s a long way away, sometimes the waves are high and very strong, other times the waves are just constant or come crashing around you unexpectedly, all these analogies are applicable to grief, it is always there just in different forms.
When you look up the word grief in the dictionary the closest noun description is mental suffering! So please be kind to yourself and all others experiencing this at this time of year. It’s not easy but definitely worth bearing in mind.