“Resilience in action is the first step to turn the invisible into the visible.”
I love teaching young people all about resilience. I also genuinely love learning about resilience, even as an adult. Resilience is learning about and from every aspect of our lives. Resilience is all about getting to know ourselves and provides us with many opportunities to nurture and develop our unique selves through various experiences.
An essential part of the process is understanding that there is something to learn when we have tricky life experiences, either about ourselves, the situation, or others.
Children are born resilient, and then tricky life experiences come along, and they don’t know how to resolve them. So, by the time we become a teenager, we can have many tricky life experiences that at times go unresolved.
Moving from challenges to resilience is the ultimate goal of resilience, and the value of action is to move from one place to another. So I have designed the Resilience Pit to help young people understand how to take action and move from challenge to resilience. We all go into the resilience pit when a challenge appears that our brain cannot resolve or we are learning a super tricky skill for the first time.
The Resilience Pit is the learning and teaching phase of resilience. It helps us understand how to take action and connect with resilience.
Let me explain how the resilience pit works. The first part of the process is understanding each of the elements of the challenge.
If the challenge is too hard to understand or our brain can’t work it out. The brain communicates through our actions and reactions, making the challenge visible to others. The brain communicates through signals that others can read, being our negative thinking, negative emotions, breathing from our chest, lack of energy, confidence and generally, we are not successful.
If the challenge is still not resolved, the person arrives at the bottom of the pit. The challenge is super visible, communicated through our extreme or disruptive behaviour, actions, emotions, energy and thoughts. However, we can learn to take action by understanding the process of resilience.
Getting out of the resilience pit is through finding someone to connect with who can help you work through the challenge. What is that saying? A challenge shared is a challenge halved. That is where the teaching and learning process comes in. First, we can learn together to understand the thinking and emotions that link to the challenge. The next part is to learn how to move the challenging energy through the body by linking it to the elements of well-being.
It is empowering when we have a shared language that we can use when talking and exploring resilience or challenges with our young people.
The resilience pit is on our fridge at home, which allows us to have a resilience conversation. When a challenge occurs, ask your child:
I see you are starting to go into the pit? How will you start to climb out of the pit? Where are you in the pit? Would you like me to come and sit with you for a while?
Children are tutored for academic skills when they don’t understand an academic skill. Now, children are tutored to connect with resilience skills when they don’t understand resilience. To be resilient is to lead your life with ease and grace, know what you want in life, and take action.
Is it time to be the master of your resilience?
I can talk about resilience all day long. Would you like your child to have resilience conversations?
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