We all know someone who has passed away. It is painful losing someone you love, someone who shared such a major part in your life. And now they are gone.
I was close to my dad. He was fifty years older than me, so I was fortunate to have him till my eighteenth birthday.
Dad suffered heart failure so was on strong medication and seeing a naturopath to help support this process. Unfortunately, he declined slowly over a couple of years. He found it harder and harder to eat and sleep, suffering the emancipation that comes with starvation.
My dad had been a strong, driven, an active man, and to be bedridden and frail was a hard challenge for him.
I had just started my first year of music studies in Brisbane. On my weekend visits to our family mountain home, my cello playing was the only thing that caused dad to fall into a peaceful sleep.
In the end, I saw dad suffering so much, that I turned to the spiritual energies who had been with me since birth. Even though it hurt to ask, I asked my spiritual beings to take dad home, because his suffering was so great, and his body so wasted. It did not seem possible for dad to experience any more quality of life. The next day, I received a call from mum at the hospital to say dad had passed away. But I already knew.
When dad died in a Gold Coast hospital, I was a short distance away on Tamborine Mountain. At that moment, I remember the atmosphere around me completely shifting, like an opening was occurring. My body started shaking violently. I just knew right in that moment in a way I can’t explain, dad had died.
It is scary seeing death come close to you. I remember the anticipation of looking at dad’s body in the morgue. I was so afraid that I clung tightly to the material of mum’s skirt and couldn’t let go.
Looking down at dad in an open coffin, my fear changed to surprise. There was nobody home. I was seeing a shell of a body that had the impression of looking like dad but wasn’t. The body was empty of life.
A few days later at the grave site, when dad’s coffin was being lowered into the ground, I watched everyone around me looking down into the hole in the ground. I deeply wondered what there was to see by looking down, and suddenly felt impressed to look up into the air. In that moment I perceived through another kind of sight, and saw the back of dad’s form, but he was changed. Dad was no longer emancipated looking, and nor did he have grey hair. I saw a young-looking fit man with a full head of golden-blonde hair. I didn’t get to see his face.
I watched dad walk through a doorway, and he was gone.
It can be hard talking about death as the unknown is scary and may shake what we think is real. But death doesn’t have to be scary. Death is natural, something which we all go through and everyone we love goes through at some point, so why don’t we talk more about it?
There are many views on death, and I don’t wish to enforce my view, only share. From my personal experiences and perception, death is like walking through a doorway into a new kind of life. But this is not the end of this story…
Thirty years on – just a few short weeks ago – now married with a grown daughter and some grey hairs of my own, I’m awakened by dad’s spirit entering our bedroom early one morning. I am shocked by what I see…
To be continued next month.
You can contact Shelley via her website https://www.shelleyroseonline.com