Innocence and Impact by Sarah King

In the dating realm, I am always doing my best to honour who I am at my core essence… I have to remind myself that that the Sarah showing up in the romantic world is still learning, she’s still learning who she is and this side of Sarah is the least evolved in this human experience side of the journey.

I was humbled recently. My impact on a whim of a decision, had made an impact on another and I had to take ownership of it, in a healthy manner.

Here I am, the woman who wrote the book about Many Hearts with a focus on healthy healed dating, had the life lessons I learnt the hard way highlighted once again.

I was back online, swiping on the apps. I was fresh again. Just set up the profile and started to have a look at who was open to connecting in my radius.

I came across a familiar face, once we had matched and chatted casually, the conversation a witty flow, relaxed and fun, while intellectual. I had suggested an in person meeting in which he declined as it was a busy time for him. I got embarrassed and assumed that he had no interest. A few days latter my typical social overwhelm had got the better of me and I innocently deleted the app entirely. I didn’t say goodbye to this man. I didn’t think he was interested therefore warranted no explanation of disappearing.

This time around I could see he had already “liked me” and we matched.

The conversation started immediately. He asked point blank. “Where did you go?”

Firstly, I joked… “Why? Did it make you sad?” and then it landed like a punch in the heart… He responded with, “More like what did I do wrong?”

My heart stopped for a moment as I remembered that feeling I have felt in my being so many times.

I felt sick that my actions had caused another to have felt that confusion, doubt and fear.

Instead of making me feel sh*t, I used this honest exchange as a measurement of my growth.

I could have tunnelled down the old, outdated story that I wasn’t good enough to be coaching others in dating and relationships when I had caused this situation – the truth is… I know better now… that’s why I share… and to have this conversation reinforced my personal growth along with the need to continue to share. It also marked my confidence in having the icky chats… once upon a time I would have been so embarrassed and ashamed that I would have ghosted him again… just for expressing himself. I would have hidden from the confrontation. Or I would have taken on more of the emotional load and beaten myself up, “No wonder I’m single, I don’t deserve to date.”

My innocence in the moment protecting my energy can be forgiven and adjusted to have awareness of my impact. I can do better in the next moment, and I will.

To purchase Sarah’s enlightening book, Many Hearts please go to: https://linktr.ee/Empress_Nation_