As our world opens to new possibilities, people are also opening to experiencing more pleasure in their lives, physically, emotionally, and sexually.
We desire for more than just a feeling of survival and complacency. We crave connection in its fullest meaning and capacity with sustainable relationships based on trust, openness, and intimacy which is where our expert Pauline Ryeland, The Intimacy Whisperer, is changing the lives of people daily.
Sultry, passionate, and vibrant are the first words that come to mind when describing the energy that looks at me through the eyes of Pauline as we begin our interview for this cover story.
A well-educated and gregarious woman, Pauline says she never planned to be an intimacy and sex educator and coach. In fact, the answer to how this all came about is a funny story that happened around a decade ago.
She had become very restless with her career in administration, even though she had worked in various interesting capacities from receptionist to executive secretary, Pauline wanted to pursue an alternate therapy modality, as she had been exploring this area for her own personal growth.
While working with a girlfriend during an NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) training, she was firing off different words to describe the areas she wanted her work to niche in. Her girlfriend kept saying no to everything Pauline announced. Words like ‘health’ and ‘emotional well-being’ were being bantered around until she said ‘sex!’. They both looked at each other and her girlfriend said, ‘yes, that’s it! You know more about sex than most people I know!’
That was how the business came about and since then, Pauline has trained in many different modalities that all play a part in her work with people, helping them realise their full sexual capacity and create sustainable relationships.
Let’s go back though to where this journey really began for Pauline.
Almost 22 years ago, just after her daughter was born, Pauline was diagnosed with a chronic auto immune disease, and was also suffering post-natal depression. Not knowing how to process or deal with that information, she buried her head in the sand and began eating as a way of denial. Pauline also completely shut down her sexuality, and emotions. Life was an existence rather than anything enjoyable and she felt completely stuck.
Finally, Pauline reached a point where she knew things had to change and she drew a transformative line in the sand. The first thing to shift was the weight and as it began coming off, Pauline had some major realisations about her marriage. It had come to an end.
Bizarrely, that night the marriage was over, Pauline started feeling strong sexual stirrings from deep within her. It took her by surprise, and she realised that after ‘turning off’ her sexuality for all these years, she now had her MOJO back!
It was a pivotal moment in Pauline’s life and since that time she has realised how important it is to not supress emotions, sexuality or creativity and good health is not simply about what you eat or how you exercise the physical. It embraces all parts of you and a healthy sexual relationship is also part of the equation.
Pauline had started her personal development and looking into spirituality before she was married, and this began again at this time.
She began doing Sacred Sexuality Work and undertook an apprenticeship in Shamanic Study for 5 years with a Native American Indian teaching.
She says of her life to that point, “on one level I was a prude in many ways, but I was also very sexual too, and very orgasmic. Going to this sacred sexual work blew my whole world apart even more and I dropped so many barriers.”
There was a moment while in between four days trainings at Mullumbimby, where Pauline received a message from her higher self that told her she was a sexual healer. She had no idea what that was and parked it. However later while planning a presentation at an NLP training day, a vision came to her where she was speaking in front of a large audience, with the theme song, “Let’s talk about sex baby”.
Fast forward to 2016 and this vision came true.
Pauline says, “it was at the Woodford Folk Festival, and it was exactly like my vision! It was a rockstar moment! I walked into an absolutely packed and somewhat overflowing room with more than 350 people. As I walked out on to the stage, “Let’s Talk About Sex” was pumping out loudly and I was dancing to it excitedly. I then captured the whole rooms’ attention that day and the next, talking about sexual energy and more”.
This was when she knew she was a sexual healer, and this was her work in the world.
Her infectious laugh and smile beams the love and passion she has for this work. Truly her purpose in this lifetime.
Pauline lives her life with enthusiasm and passion, and this can be seen and felt in all she does. Her presence is empowering and holds your attention. You get the feeling that this woman can offer solutions to your most intimate and awkward questions!
Her life experiences hold so much knowledge too and, in her practice, these experiences help her to relate to so many of the issues facing people in their lives, intimacy and relationships.
Knowing what it feels like to switch off libido, experience sexual abuse and to deny her sexuality are just some of the reasons she can easily and compassionately hold space for her variety of clientele. Her personal journey gives Pauline insights that others do not have. It is no wonder she is trusted fully.
Talking about the changes she has seen in her clients over the years I can feel the presence she holds for them. She really hears them, and this is a uniqueness not all people possess. Offering ways for more self-love, self-worth and connection are integral to this work and Pauline genuinely cares about people getting results that change their lives for the better.
Some of the issues that Pauline sees in her clients are low or no libido, sexuality confusion, pain internally or externally while having sex, erectile challenges, post vasectomy pain or issues and intimacy in relationships (working with the individual and the couple if needed).
Pauline says, “I am passionate about teaching people how to open up to their full sexual capacity. So, they can enjoy the most amazing, connected sexual experiences possible. Our sexual energy is our life force and when we can tap into that, everything else flows. Imagine how amazing life can be when you are empowered in your sexuality!”
I am also passionate about sustainable relationships. A relationship where you have a deep and intimate connection which continually makes your bond stronger. A relationship where you are a contribution to each other, and your love grows deeper.”
If you are wondering what a sustainable relationship is, Pauline says, “it’s a relationship where you learn effective ways to communicate with each other and actually hear each other. This is also achieved by learning how to be fully present with each other. It’s also a relationship where you can deepen your intimate connection which then flows onto having amazing sex!”
Pauline uses an holistic approach with her clients and taps into what they require at the time, using a combination of the modalities she is trained in along with the life experiences she has had and can relate directly to. Some of the certificates Pauline has picked up along the way are:
- Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming
- Advanced Subconscious Reprogramming
- Errikson Hypnotherapy
- Results Coach
- Performance Consultant
- Love Works Tantra Teacher and Facilitator
- Somatic Sexological Body Worker™
- Reiki & Spiritual Healer
- Angel Intuitive
- Access Consciousness, Bars and Body Facilitator
When I asked Pauline about the mentors that have helped her along the way she choked up with heart felt emotion about them, saying there were three in particular and they were so strong in their presence and empowered in their own sexuality, that she wondered if she could be as confident and empowered in in her sexuality as they were.
Pauline’s presence, her strength and poise in her own sexuality and passions along with her kindness and love, really light the room up wherever she is and she is a leader many look up to now.
‘I don’t want people to think they are alone in what they are experiencing in their lives right now, especially in their relationship and intimacy,’ says Pauline, encouraging anyone, no matter how weird or wacky they think their problem is, or has been experiencing something that has been happening for some now and are ready for something better in your life, to find out more about how she can assist.
This beautiful, caring woman will take you in to her sacred and safe space and hear you.
To find out more about Pauline Ryeland visit: https://paulineryeland.com/