The One Thing First-Time Mums Really Need By Deborah Binun

First-time mothers today are bombarded with everything they could ever want. From cribs, prams, baby monitors, and bags to teddies, bottles, dummies, and creams. There is no end to the ‘essentials’ women are sold in the name of keeping their babies safe, happy, and well.

But it has to be said that pregnant women are missing something. They are unknowingly neglecting the most important person in this whole process. And guess what, it’s not the baby.

Women are about to embark on the biggest transformational journey of their life. And they usually have no idea what’s coming.

Mothers are increasingly entering birth and new motherhood completely ill-prepared mentally and emotionally.

You see, our lives today are so fast. We think it’s normal. It’s not. The pace we move at is simply too fast for most healthy human beings to keep up with. Never mind pregnant women who usually aren’t eating, drinking, or resting nearly enough during these precious months leading up to their brave new role.

You might have guessed where I’m going with this. The person women are forgetting to pay attention to, love, nurture, and cherish is, of course, themselves!

We, as new mothers, need time. Time to digest what’s happening. Life is taking a new turn. What’s ahead? Who are we becoming?

What women needs is resilience, strength, and power to take on their new role. An understanding and acknowledgment that everything in their life is about to change and how they can navigate this to grow into the wonderful mothers they will become.

With the increasing numbers of mums coming into my therapy room exhausted and frazzled, I propose that, we, as a culture, have a responsibility to step up in the birth preparation we are currently offering.

A Butterfly is the perfect analogy for the path that women will walk from maidenhood to motherhood. The ultimate symbol of transformation. The caterpillar enters the cocoon, goes through a process, and, when the time is right, emerges as the stunning butterfly.

I urge women to enter their own cocoon during pregnancy; To slow down, reconnect and realign, emerging, perhaps unrecognizable, with a palpable inner strength and knowing of who they are, ready to embrace their new role as Mother.

The preparation we need to be offering women must go beyond providing practical information. We are not just physical beings. We are so much more than that. Women require emotional, mental and psychological preparation so that, as opposed to collating more knowledge, they can develop the inner ‘knowing’ so essential to confident, peaceful birthing and smooth transition to motherhood.

To summarise, being pregnant and moving to new motherhood offers an immense opportunity for transformation. Let’s support women in having the smooth, blissful births that they deserve, allowing them to enter into motherhood feeling strong, resilient and truly empowered. When women reconnect with who they really are, they become unstoppable, able to blossom and raise the next generation with ease and joy!

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Deborah is a Psychotherapist, Birth Educator, Doula & Author of ‘The Missing Peace in Childbirth’


Vanessa Finnigan is the founder, editor and publisher of Holistic Bliss.
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