3 Ways to Recognise if You Are in Self-Sabotage by Trish Rock

Self-sabotage is a pattern of behaviour that undermines your own goals and desires, often without you even realising it. It’s that voice in your head that keeps you playing small, staying stuck, and avoiding growth. When you decide to create more, move forward, or step up in life, self-sabotage can sneak in and pull you back.

Recognising these patterns is the first step to breaking free from them.

You may already be aware of some of the different ways you sabotage in your life every time you decide to create more, move forward, step up or do differently.

Things like cleaning (me!) or distraction, falling ill, running late, car trouble, computer trouble and many more.

These are obvious ones that can affect each of us.

But there are others that are not so obvious. Things we feel we have no control over. Things where we can place the blame elsewhere.

Here are some of mine over the years that have kept me stuck:

Staying in struggle/lack
Being a people pleaser
Staying small
Keeping overly busy (a BIG one for many!!)

I didn’t realise these were self-sabotaging patterns also but in fact they were. And they existed due to the old stories and fears I had about creating the life I loved, and doing what felt empowering to me.

But one of the greatest gifts I have been given this lifetime from these experiences is to help empower YOU to create a life you absolutely love and to help you discern what you can and cannot control.

Here are 3 common ways self-sabotage might be showing up in your life.

1. Perfectionism Masked as Procrastination

Do you find yourself putting off tasks because they’re not “perfect” yet? You may tell yourself that you’ll start working on your goals when the conditions are just right—when you have more time, more resources, or more knowledge. This is a classic form of self-sabotage.

Perfectionism can paralyse you, leading to chronic procrastination. The fear of not doing something perfectly can keep you from doing it at all. This pattern is rooted in a fear of failure or rejection. But the truth is, waiting for perfection will only delay your progress and keep you from moving forward.

Recognise it: Notice when you’re delaying action because you feel something isn’t “perfect” yet. Ask yourself, “Is this really about quality, or am I afraid of something deeper?”

2. Staying in Comfort Zones

Do you find yourself clinging to what’s familiar, even when it no longer serves you? This can look like staying in a job you don’t enjoy, avoiding new challenges, or sticking with routines that don’t inspire you. The fear of the unknown or the discomfort of change can keep you stuck in situations that don’t align with your true desires. Over time, this stagnation can lead to feelings of frustration and unfulfilled potential.

Recognise it: Pay attention to areas in your life where you feel “stuck” or unchallenged. Consider whether you’re holding back out of fear of change or uncertainty.

3. Overcommitting and Keeping Busy

Do you fill your schedule with endless tasks, commitments, and responsibilities, leaving little time for yourself? This is a sneaky form of self-sabotage that many people overlook. By staying overly busy, you might avoid facing deeper issues, fears, or desires. It can be easier to focus on being “productive” than to confront what’s really holding you back.

Overcommitting can also be a way to gain approval from others, which ties into people-pleasing behaviour. However, this pattern ultimately drains your energy and keeps you from doing what you love.

Recognise it: Reflect on whether your busyness is a way to avoid confronting something within yourself. Are you overcommitting to distract from your own needs or to gain validation from others?

What’s holding you back right now? Identify it, confront it, and take the steps needed to move beyond it. Self-sabotage doesn’t have to be a life sentence—it’s something you can take control over and transform.

Book a Self-Sabotage Release with me here: BOOK A CALL

This complimentary 20 minute call will bring more clarity for you around which areas of life are working, and which are being affected by Self Sabotage right now. I will give you 1-2 practical solutions to help and discuss with you what your next steps could be to achieve the results you desire.

Or if you have read this article and said to yourself- enough! Then I invite you to check out the FREEDOM from Self Sabotage 4 Week Program where our 1-1 sessions each week will help you overcome 1-2 self-sabotage patterns. You can take a look here: 4 WEEK PACKAGE

With love xo

Trish