Breaking Free from Co-dependency: Why Coming Home to Yourself is Essential for Thriving by Sally Holden

For years, co-dependency felt “normal” to me. I lived in a constant state of putting others’ needs and happiness above my own. Growing up enmeshed with my mother, I became conditioned to seek her approval and constantly tried to please her and make her happy and later in life, I found myself in a difficult 14-year relationship that reinforced this pattern. My self-worth became tied to what he thought of me, leaving me feeling completely lost and disconnected from my own value.

It wasn’t until I discovered true inner power, self-love, and alignment that I felt free to express my truest self. With this shift, I began living authentically, pursuing dreams that brought me joy and fulfillment. I was finally able to walk tall, knowing that I was worthy of living a life I loved. For the first time, I knew in my heart that anything was possible when I was aligned with my true nature.

But breaking free from the codependent cycle hasn’t been easy. The process of understanding and rewiring these patterns has been a journey that’s taken years of dedication. While I feel empowered when on my own, navigating relationships can still be challenging at times, as my nervous system is still wired to respond with fawn and freeze reactions due to past conditioning and PTSD. Yet, with awareness and the right tools and strategies, I’ve learned how to create a sense of safety, connection, and authenticity in relationships without reverting to survival mode.

Recognizing the Patterns of Co-dependency

Co-dependency often begins in childhood, where approval from our parents or caregivers becomes vital for survival, belonging, and acceptance. We learn to prioritize their needs, abandoning our own connection to inner wisdom, intuition, and self-worth. For many women, this pattern is reinforced by societal expectations to please, care, and prioritize others. Here are some signs of co-dependency that you might recognize in yourself:

Difficulty making decisions for yourself or feeling unclear.
A low-energy state and sense of smallness, avoiding conflict to keep the peace.
Shame, anxiety over others’ opinions, and hypervigilance to others’ needs.
Challenges in relaxing, advocating for yourself, or expressing your true feelings.
Feeling guilty for prioritizing yourself and experiencing a sense of powerlessness.
Feelings of despair, depression or dread and hypersensitive to feedback from others.
Feel trapped, manipulated and or controlled by others.
Shallow breathing, feeling paralysed, blocked or stuck in life.
Feeling overly responsible for others’ feelings, needs and emotions.
Feel that you can’t be happy until everyone else is happy.
Say sorry a lot, even when there’s nothing to apologise for.
Feel like a victim to your current situation but feel like you can’t leave or change things because it would upset someone.
Feel a lot of anger and resentment that you have to do things for others and feel taken advantage of.

Co-dependency affects every area of life—our health, happiness, relationships, finances, and even how we relate to our children. But becoming aware of these patterns is the first step to change. Awareness gives us the power of choice, the ability to step out of survival mode and reconnect with our authentic selves.

A Simple Tip to Reclaim Your Self-Worth

Breaking the cycle of co-dependency and rebuilding self-worth takes time, but small steps make a huge difference. A powerful daily practice to reconnect with yourself is self-affirming journaling.

Tip:

Each day, take five minutes to write down three things you love about yourself and three things you’re proud of. These can be as simple as being a good friend or accomplishing a small goal at work. By regularly affirming your worth, you start to shift away from seeking validation externally and rebuild a foundation of inner strength and confidence.

Ready to Break Free and Thrive?

If what I’ve shared resonates with you, and you’re ready to heal and free yourself from these patterns, I invite you to take the next step. Schedule a complimentary call with me where we’ll:

Identify the areas where co-dependency is affecting your life the most.
Create a compelling vision for the life you truly desire.
Develop a personalized, actionable plan to move forward into freedom and fulfillment.

If you’re ready to embrace health, joy, autonomy, and true alignment, send me an email at admin@sallyholden.com.au or go to: https://go.oncehub.com/SoulAlignmentSession to book your call. It’s time to reclaim your power, break generational cycles, and create a life that honours your truest self.

Let’s get you Thriving again!

Love and Blessings,

Sal x