Confronting Fear in a Different Way by Barbara Brewster

From Barbara Brewster’s book about healing MS

JOURNEY TO WHOLENESS:

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom.

Chapter 42

One of the activities which kept me focused in the present was another fire walk. Steve (my spiritual teacher) had asked me to participate in a demonstration at Portland’s OMSI (Oregon Museum of Science and Industry) as part of an Indian exhibit.

The morning of the walk I awakened early, wondering, What will Barbara do? Will she get out of the way? Inside, a voice had said, This is to be fun, NOT SERIOUS. I looked around in wonder and thought, Why not?

At noon I joined Steve and his assistant, Susan, at OMSI. The outdoor fire area was cordoned off and attracted many people from the milling crowds wandering about the nearby pavilion. We three waited, sitting or standing, mostly in silence, for the fire to burn down.

Originally, I felt very centered, with no real doubt about walking. When the crowd began to gather, however, the body started calling attention to itself, doing its nervous thing, heart pounding, legs shaking. Only then did I begin to question, Can I do this without the “ideal” conditions, without the usual centering exercises that prepare us? Can I do this with so much nervousness?

Steve gathered me and Susan under each arm and said, “Okay, team …” and started walking us toward the fire. Looking at me, he said, “This might be a sign for you to learn that you can do things any time … since an issue for you is fearing that you’re not ready or prepared enough, don’t have enough education, not good enough …”

What a stretch. The crowd seemed to display a side-show mentality about the fire walk. Joking and laughter filled the air. Yet when my turn came, after Steve and Susan had each walked, I stood still, gathering my inner calm. Staring at the coals, I didn’t wonder if I would walk. I just wondered when.  I forgot the crowd. My heart pounded and my stomach twisted in knots. I walked. People clapped. Susan gave me a hug. Relief. And still turmoil. Should I walk again? I wanted to, yet …

After Steve walked once more, the crowd dispersed. Many people approached us and asked questions. An interviewer from the Oregonian took notes. “What does it do for you?” he asked me.

“I confront fear in a different way.” I spoke of the opportunity that this particular experience had been, “I’d entertained a belief that I needed certain supportive conditions in order to do a fire walk–and other things in my life–and today’s experience just proved that it’s only a belief.”

How can you come to know yourself?

Never by thinking; always by doing.

Try to do your duty, and you’ll know right away what you amount to.

And what is your duty?

Whatever the day calls for.

Goethe

Find out more about Barbara’s latest offerings and to purchase her 3 profound books please visit: https://www.barbarabrewster.com