The crucial topic of emotional release is visited many times throughout my book, The Frequency of Freedom, a memoir of my personal healing journey which will be released this month. I had to feel deeply, over a three-year period, and let go of many old emotions to make myself strong, free and healthy again.
Shedding these old emotions was indeed a massive job, and after such a significant amount of purging, I really felt I should now have the all clear from further intense suppressed emotions emerging. LOL – not so! I still get triggered! True, it happens less often these days, but the universe within me wishes to ensure that I continue becoming lighter and lighter, and occasionally throws me life experiences that seem designed explicitly for this purpose.
So yes, you guessed it. A few months ago, I was triggered in a forceful way. It came from totally left of field – a curve ball that floored me, as they say (or in my case sent me to my couch for almost two weeks). But I believe I caught the ball with my heart and my eyes wide open. I didn’t see it coming, yet my intuitive senses seemed to know how to handle this big, shaggy, messy ball of triggered emotion with delicacy. Fragility and vulnerability led the way, and so much tender loving care towards myself was required to move through this, as some really old, dark, unexpressed feelings needed my attention. To think that only seconds before, all these feelings were still neatly suppressed somewhere in my cells and energy field!
There was nothing else to be done except to feel the feelings and allow them to move through me in the best way I could. Shock was centre stage for the first week, surrounded by a whole lot of other feelings – the ones we don’t want to feel – such as shame, embarrassment, self-doubt, hopelessness and helplessness (to name a few!). I lay for hours at a time on the couch, just feeling, letting go, and observing.
Just about everything else in my life had to stop. But as painful as it was, I knew I’d been given a golden opportunity to finally free myself of the feelings that had been buried within me for such a long time. All they’d wanted was to be seen, acknowledged, appreciated and felt; not judged and pushed away. This knowledge made it easier to surrender. Easier to just lie down and call in support. This consisted of friends and family to help with my daughter, bring groceries, deliver soup, and attend to household chores. I also received lots of virtual love, support and encouragement. It’s incredible how love and support can help re-calibrate us and get us back on the right path.
We are really a bunch of walking tuning forks, by which I mean our experience of life depends massively on what frequencies we are carrying: what we are putting out and what we are allowing in. It is clear to me that many of us are being triggered in what feels like a monumental way right now and it is sometimes taking people literally weeks or even months to move through the feelings that are arising (often accompanied by some kind of physical ailment). We really need to take care of each other through these times. Doing something simple to show someone you care can make such a difference. We are all in this together and we have so much to give to each other. So, if you ever feel like reaching out to someone who is in need of help, please do reach out. Not everybody is able to speak their needs in times of distress. Some people gave up asking for help a very long time ago. Let’s really look after each other.
(I must just add that I am feeling so much lighter and freer after this recent trigger event. So it is all worth it. Never stop believing that.)
The Frequency of Freedom, will be released this month, to pre-order visit www.sandytorahmcshane.com.