Luke La VieSo, we’ve looked at emotions and how they affect us, a breathing exercise, and working on acceptance of how we truly feel. Acceptance of what we feel is true self-care, which is an act of love. So even if you feel upset, angry, jealous or any of those ‘negative’ emotions, they are still important, still there for a reason and still best dealt with by actually accepting them.
But why? Why not drink alcohol, eat chocolate, take drugs or any of the thousands of ways we can avoid our painful feelings? Why on earth would we want to experience something difficult and challenging?
There is no better alternative. So many of my clients over the years talk of an addiction – when what they are actually doing is using the addiction as a mask to avoid emotions. Addictions come in many forms, the sneaky wines after work to ‘wind down’, the need to stuff ourselves with food, and so on. This is not to say that we all have to turn into meditating monks, moving away from any fun in our life and taking things seriously, seeing things as bad. But there is a big difference between enjoying a glass of wine and needing a glass of wine.
Most of these coping strategies have healthier alternatives – if you’re an action person, exercise is likely your thing. If you need relaxation, guided imagery and meditations, mindfulness practices are key. But they cross over – many people relax through some good exercise at the end of the day. Sensory experiences are also valid – I’ve been in love with cold showers for more than twenty years, they rarely fail to regulate my emotions and shift energy in a positive way.
And finally, there is a strong emphasis in society on supressing feelings – through habit and sometimes sheer force of will. I’ve met many people over the years, that would say there’s “nothing wrong with them” but are irritable at their partner and kids and pets when they come home, can’t sleep at night, or cry and well up at tissue commercials. All these are usually because the person has become skilled at supressing – not accepting – their feelings. How to check? If you’re experiencing the feeling, and are open to feeling things, then this is acceptance territory. If you want to move on, take action, don’t want ‘drama’ or can’t handle yours or others’ emotions, then you’re likely in suppression territory. And this is dangerous territory, because it has negative health consequences – we know that enough stress messes with our immune system, and the evidence is mounting that suppression of emotions is linked with all sorts of physical challenges.
So take some time, make yourself a priority, and practice breathing and acceptance for yourself today.
Luke La Vie
To make an appointment with Luke please phone: 0481 861 560
For more information, please visit Luke’s Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100093426380082
Barbara Brewster
Gerard Bini
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