My Saturday started like any other Saturday, I woke up and snuggled on the sofa with my toddler to watch cartoons, and waited for a call from my parents.
Things felt blissful. We just got back home from a long holiday trip with my family, and I was expecting my second baby.
The call from my parents never came. Instead, my sister called me to tell me that my mom had a bad fall and she was given 24 hours to live (my mom actually “made” it, but she remains in a coma six years later). A similar call came two short months later with the news that my dad passed away.
Losing a parent is extremely hard, but losing two parents in the span of two months is unbearable.
My baby was born a few months after my dad passed away, and around that time, I also sold my first business.
I was mourning the death of my parents, taking care of a newborn and a toddler without any help or support. In addition to feeling like I lost my identity, from going from running a business and managing 20 employees to staying at home.
On the outside, I looked like I was doing ok. Everyone around me thought I was managing very well. But on the inside, I was falling apart.
I was feeling angry, resentful and overwhelmingly sad. I continued with my usual routine, I woke up every morning, exercised, showered, got dressed, put makeup on, and took my kids to school and their daily activities. But I felt empty & numb…
Life felt extremely heavy and aimless, and I was having a very hard time to see a way out of this darkness. I missed my parents beyond words and I missed my old self.
Until one day I came across the book ‘The Miracle Morning’ and everything changed. Because of the book I gave meditation a try and things slowly started to shift. Meditation felt awkward and unnatural in the beginning, but I stuck with it day after day. The dark cloud slowly started to lift and my 5:00am daily meditation session became (still is) one of my favorite parts of my day. I now look forward to waking up and enjoying the stillness and calmness before the world wakes up.
Meditation helped me cope with the grief and loss of my parents and my identity, and find my center and my joy again. It helped me get realigned and focused on my dreams and my goals again. It made me a better mom and a better person. Through meditation I found the motivation and strength to start another business and overcome all the fears and challenges that come with it. But most importantly, it helped me process my feelings of sadness and anger as a result of losing my parents.
I credit meditation for truly saving me and for helping me cope and overcome a very challenging season in my life. Over six years later, meditation remains a very important part of my life and I often meditate with my youngest in my lap. I hope that one day, he and his brother will truly understand the power of meditation and embrace it in their lives.
Tamy Liriano is the founder of Papillon Organic. She is a big advocate of selfcare and mindfulness and practices meditation, yoga and EFT regularly. www.papillonorganic.com