Part 1: Integrating Your Parents For A More Fulfilling Life by Rebecca-Lee

There is no doubt that so many of us in the world have suffered some kind of trauma or wounding from our parents. I know some people are suffering from terrible abuse and deep trauma and I want to first acknowledge that the things I propose in my articles may not be suited to your situation, maybe for now or maybe always. I am an energy worker; a Soul Intuitive; a Life Coach and a Family Constellator. My work experience has seen me as a phone Counsellor for Lifeline; a Support Worker in a Womans’ Refuge, and a Rehabilitation Officer for Government. I also have walked a very colourful life path and have experienced very difficult challenges and relationships in my own life.

My work is more coaching than therapy; Soul work than trauma treatment; and a philosophy of life rather than a therapeutic approach.

In saying that I have deep regard and respect for all modalities and therapies, and often my clients work with me alongside their treatment from their therapist. I also acknowledge that my work resonates with a certain group of people who already tend to be more “Soul” based and possibly intuitive than academic, and I encourage you to keep this in your mind when you are reading my articles. 

If my work deeply triggers you, there is either something in there for you to look at, or maybe my philosophy simply does not align with your belief system and that is ok. Take what is for you and your path and keep on moving forward with what works for you.

I am not here to be a cure for people or say that I have the answers. These are purely my thoughts and feelings and experiences both personally and with my client’s for nearly two decades.

Taking in your Parents

The concept of “taking in” our parents can be a daunting one for many. However, it is an important one, and often a must for many of us on the path of spiritual development and soul expansion. The concept of taking in our parents means that we embrace them in our hearts, deeply integrating them within us just as they are and were. This goes beyond “accepting” them, which is on the level of the mental body, and actually, when you feel into it, means that you will accept them, but you still feel superior to them. This is not “taking them in”. 

Since we have life through our parents and we would not be here having this experience that you wanted to have, then we must acknowledge our parents as the parents, no matter who and how they are. 

For many of us, our inner child still may feel ignored, neglected, abused, smothered, abandoned and we develop all sorts of coping mechanisms to protect us from our parents. Even at my age today and with the amount of soul work I have done, I still find there are times where I have my walls up around my parents protecting myself and not allowing myself to be vulnerable near them, so I do not get hurt by them. This is a strategy we have learnt over a lifetime. It takes some time to become aware and conscious of it, and work through the path of still integrating them into our heart. 

Do you take on their stuff so you can free them to love you?

I often see the inner child of clients that have “taken on” the burdens, responsibilities, issues or even health conditions of the parents in order to try to “ease their load”; free their parents to love them or on some level, feel more connected to them by sharing the same fate. It’s important on the journey that we also clear these types of entanglements. 

The healing process can then begin when, in spite of the wounds, our desire to heal is stronger than our anger. It can begin when we are ready to open to the possibility of seeing our parents through a different, softer and higher perspective. When we can see also what burdens, trauma and wounds they were carrying, then we know why they may not have been available to us, and why they are the way they are.  

In ‘Unlock Your Love Blocks’, we work in the realm of the Soul. The things we look at are not what we might usually think about, come across or perceive in our usual day to day life. I have often seen so many clients be so angry with their parents and it seemed that there would be no way that they would ever integrate them into their hearts, and then something happens on a deeper level – something different comes out of the darkness and into the light for them. All of a sudden, a shift happens within. 

Read my part 2- next month!

Visit: www.rebecca-lee.com to see about private ‘Unlock Your Love Blocks’ sessions with Rebecca-lee, or her coaches or enrol in one of the upcoming training modules to enter into this deep soul work.