Surrendering to the process of family life by Bonnie Baty

Here I am yet again, sharing more of our home-school journey. I feel like it’s not only the children being schooled but also my husband and me. Our lives have evolved in leaps and bounds from the lives we lived through other chapters in our existence.

We were once captivated by the external picture, steeped in swift emotionally reactive responses, caught up in our own personal addictions and barely made the time and effort to create real meaningful connection with each-other, to then go on creating that with our children.

The change has been enormous through the years, and I credit that with deciding to do things differently to what we had always known, by effecting change.

I have been reading a book called, ‘The Surrendered Wife’ by Laura Doyle, recommended by someone I have been following on social media, I was intrigued by its topic.

The journey of ‘surrender’ is something I have been personally immersed in for well over a year now and I have been applying my learnings from the book into all facets of my life, not just as a wife, but as a mother, friend, sister, teacher to my children etc.

I find myself vulnerable where I used to nag, trusting where I used to be controlling, respectful where I used to be demeaning and grateful where I used to be dis-satisfied. I have faith where I once had doubt and more recently, I see I have abundance in full supply where I once felt impoverished.

What does all this surrender talk have to do with home-schooling?

Well, I’ve completely surrendered to that space. My husband and I have very differing views around the way in which children should be educated and rather than create any type of friction or resistance, I’ve let go and in doing so I am watching miraculous things take form with our children.

My husband and I were high-school lovers. He was a very kinaesthetic person, and wasn’t at all academic. I spent a lot of time in judgement of him over the years based on that, but, in essence there really is nothing he cannot achieve when he puts his mind to something. And this happens to be one of the greatest qualities I have come to admire in him.

As I’ve surrendered, he’s stepped up and taken the lead with our children in their schooling, all whilst working a full-time job. This by no means is a relinquishing of responsibility on my part but it has created the opening for my husband to assume a role that comes so naturally to him and allows me to remain in the creative flow space I desire to be in, and it works fluidly for our children. They get the balance in both of us, and we step into ourselves even more.

The boys love every moment of being in a learning space with their dad, both practically and academically. One day he’ll have them on the road changing the car tyre, the next they’ll be immersed in English, maths and doing spelling or something along those lines.

Last week he assumed the role of music teacher and taught the boys, ‘Baby Shark’ on the keyboard much to my horror haha but our older son who loves music has been picking up on his piano playing from when he used to have tutorials with a qualified tutor. Dad is just as great.

I sit in awe watching all of this take form, my husband is in his brilliance and the boys, and I reap the rewards of that.

Home-schooling really is home-school for all of us.

Connect with Bonnie at her website or Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/bonniebaty44