The Journey to healing the wounded feminine by Ann Moir-Bussy

In some of our previous columns, such as The Selkie, we discover how easy it is for some women to sacrifice their own feminine soul to please someone else – often a patriarchal figure, or a masculine father figure who demands so much and pleads with and convinces the woman that this is her responsibility to give. And to some extent the woman becomes a robot, hanging in to fulfil her “duty”, to serve, and losing all sense of who she is and of the deep divine feminine within. Sometimes it is the woman herself who is tempted to sacrifice her true self for approval or success or career, but in doing so she is stripped hollow and loses her true strength. To heal ourselves and heal the world, it is essential that we heal and reclaim the divine feminine spirit within.

Dismemberment

The loss of our feminine spirit and the journey to wholeness and healing often begins with dismemberment. One such fairy tale is that of the Girl without Hands, or the Handless maiden. This was written by the Grimm Brothers and relates the plight of a young woman who suffers violent mutilation, exile and eventually renewal.  The story relates how the girl’s father, a poor man who struggles to survive, sold her to the devil in exchange for great wealth and a life of ease. She is so distraught that her tears make it impossible for the devil to take her, so the old man is ordered to chop off her hands, and in compliance she lets it happen and then wanders into the forest alone to find healing.

The Journey

As in other myths, the journey is long and filled with complications…it is another aspect of the descent to the dark goddess, a journey that begins with betrayal by the masculine, and her own search for her true self. In an upcoming seminar we will explore the depth of this story. But for now, let us look at some of the deep symbolism. For this story is about a woman’s need to return to her own heart, to heal her soul. Following her journey into the underworld enables us to become whole and reclaim our deep inner wisdom, integrity and strength….and yes, become that elder and wise woman.

Handless women

Are you a woman who has lost her hands or you know women who are handless? She has lost her control and volition over her feminine values such as compassion, intuition, creativity and sensitivity. She is caught in the web of cultural structures that sacrifice such feminine values by imposing rigid work structures or patriarchal frameworks upon her. She has become separated from her own inner feminine, and having her hands cut off pushes her into exile, her feminine is deeply wounded and she has to learn that this can only be healed by integrating the masculine with her.

A woman cannot live only in her head, alienated from body and soul. Yet so many women I speak with are disconnected from their own feelings, from self-compassion. They have spent the first half of their life working, serving, giving to others and then by early 50s feel burnt out and exhausted and don’t know where to go. They are living in a state of inner poverty, and this comes from a society or culture that does not value human beings or life. Unless we venture alone into the forest or into the dark night, we are complicit in continuing the mutilation, not only of our own hands, but of countless young girls today.

Healing and transformation

As women what can we do to heal ourselves and transform? If we are to regrow our hands, we need to journey into the underworld, the forest and find:

Self- acceptance and self-compassion: We must accept our loss, be compassionate to oneself and turn inwards to the divine feminine within. The journey is ours.

Embrace our vulnerability which gives us power and as we journey it becomes a source of strength.

Reclaim our agency – by setting boundaries and rejecting the demands of those who seek to control us. Reshape our own story.

Find support, knowledge and skills – build supportive relationships with other women and become stronger by standing together. Reclaim your creativity and redefine your identity and narrative.

And then, in the words of Clarissa Pinkola Estes

“When we come up out of the underworld after one of our undertakings there, we may appear unchanged outwardly, but inwardly we have reclaimed a vast and womanly wildness. On the surface we are still friendly, but beneath the skin, we are most definitely no longer tame.”

Join me in early November as we unpack this beautiful fairy tale and find the ways to reclaim and heal our wounded feminine. We will advertise all the details on the new website next week.