What stayed with me. Pieces of us I’ll Keep by Jacqueline Koloski

Not everything is meant to last. But that doesn’t mean it didn’t matter.

This is a reflection on losing my rhythm and returning to something that once grounded me.

You were part of how I remembered myself again.

You inspired something in me I hadn’t realised I’d been drifting away from.

It started quietly, sharing what you knew, the small things that somehow mattered. Training apps, the right kind of shoes, better ways to move, to train, to take care of myself. Gentle nudges on the mornings when it felt easier to stay wrapped up in bed, reminding me that getting up before the sun had its own kind of reward.

You saw something in me I had forgotten.

For a long time, exercise had been my anchor, my reset. The place I went when the world got too loud, when I felt like I was losing my way. It was never just about being fit; it was about feeling steady again and reconnecting with myself.

Somehow, you brought me back to that. You reminded me of why I love exercising.

But somewhere along the way, things shifted. Not because you changed, but because something in me did.

In the same breath that you inspired me; you also unsettled me, threw me off balance in a way I didn’t expect. The clarity I once had around taking care of myself became clouded by something heavier: emotional exhaustion that sat deep and didn’t lift easily.

For a while, I lost my rhythm. The drive wasn’t there, the motivation faded and all I could manage was the basics; getting through the day, showing up to work, holding everything together just enough to make it to the other side. The things that once grounded me felt out of reach, like they belonged to a version of me I couldn’t quite find anymore.

That part…that part was hard.

Slowly, something is shifting again. As I find my way back into movement, back into routine, I’m reminded of how much I love this part of my life and how much I need it, not for how it looks, but for how it makes me feel: clearer, stronger and more like myself. I’m finding my rhythm again.

In these moments, I think of you. What you shared with me, what you helped me remember. Not everything you gave me stayed in the way I thought it would, but part of it did, and maybe that’s enough.

Because even after losing my way for a while, I found it again, and this time, I know it’s mine to keep.

What stayed with me wasn’t just what happened, but what it revealed in me about what I needed and how easily I disconnect from the things that support me when I’m overwhelmed. There is a quiet awareness now that my well-being isn’t about discipline alone, but about capacity and meeting myself where I am.

I find myself returning to that version of me now, the one who doesn’t judge the pause, but understands it. The one who recognises the difference between independence and self-abandonment and no longer confuses the two.

It doesn’t need to be held onto as something I lost. It becomes something I now understand I am allowed to want: steadiness, softness, consistency, the kind of care that doesn’t take me away from myself.

I’m letting it be what it was: a turning point. A reminder that my rhythm is sacred, not something I earn, not something I explain, but something I return to. It’s there in the quiet discipline of early mornings, in the choice to move my body with respect, in the way routine makes me feel like me again.

Pieces of us will stay with me, not as a story I replay, but as a standard I live by. What’s meant for me won’t pull me out of rhythm or ask me to abandon myself to be chosen. This time, I choose what matches the life I’m building, because I know that rhythm is mine to keep.

These are the pieces I’ll keep.

If this has stirred something within you, know that you do not have to find your way alone. Through heart-centred soul mentoring, I hold a gentle space for you to reconnect with yourself, honour your own rhythm and take the next step with greater trust. If you feel called, you can connect with Jacq at: connectingwithjacqueline@gmail.com.

Big love and hugs

Jacq