When Your Emotions Feel Like They’re Running the Show

By Kaz Waters – Co-Author of International Best Seller “Tap Into Your Best Life”

There is a particular kind of emotional intensity that can arrive during perimenopause, and it has a way of catching even the most self-aware, emotionally intelligent women slightly off guard. One moment, you are moving through your day with a sense of steadiness, ticking off the mental to-do list, holding conversations, managing life as you always have. Next, something small tips the balance. A comment lands differently. A task feels heavier than it should. Suddenly, everything feels just that little bit closer to the surface than you would prefer.

Tears may come more quickly. Frustration may linger longer. And that quiet inner voice might start asking, “What is going on with me?”

This is often the point where many women turn inward with criticism, assuming they should be coping better. But what is actually happening is far more physiological than personal. During perimenopause, fluctuations in oestrogen and progesterone directly influence neurotransmitters such as serotonin and GABA, both of which play a significant role in mood regulation and emotional stability. When these hormones begin to move in less predictable patterns, the emotional landscape can start to feel equally unpredictable.

It is not uncommon to feel like your emotions are doing their own version of interpretive dance, with very little warning and absolutely no choreography.

Layer on top of that the reality that life continues at full pace. Work does not pause. Family responsibilities do not soften. The mental load, if anything, seems to expand. It becomes less surprising, then, that what many women describe as “losing control” is often a nervous system simply carrying more than it can process in the usual way.

The nervous system plays a central role here. When the body perceives ongoing stress, whether hormonal, emotional, or environmental, it can shift into a more reactive state. This is where patience shortens, tolerance narrows, and the ability to regulate emotions feels less accessible. Sleep disruption, which so often joins the party uninvited, only amplifies this. Research shows that poor sleep can heighten emotional sensitivity and reduce resilience, making everyday challenges feel far less manageable than they once did.

So, if you have found yourself standing in the kitchen, wondering why you walked in there, only to become irrationally annoyed at a cupboard door, you are not alone. And no, the cupboard is not the real issue.

What becomes important in this phase is not trying to override these responses but learning how to support the body through them.

This is where body-based approaches such as Emotional Freedom Techniques, or EFT, can offer something both practical and effective. Rather than asking you to think your way out of how you feel, EFT works directly with the nervous system. By gently tapping on specific acupressure points while acknowledging what is present, you create a signal of safety within the body. Clinical research has shown that EFT can significantly reduce anxiety and lower cortisol levels, the body’s primary stress hormone.

What that means in real terms is that, instead of escalating or lingering, emotions begin to soften. Not disappear entirely, because you are human, not a robot running on a particularly calm operating system, but soften enough that you can respond rather than react.

Alongside this, there is a quieter but equally important piece of the puzzle, and that is self-compassion. It sounds simple, and yet it is often the first thing to fall away when we feel out of balance. The internal dialogue can quickly turn sharp. “I should be handling this better.” “Why am I so emotional?” “What is wrong with me?”

The truth is, nothing is wrong with you. Something is changing within you.

Research consistently shows that self-compassion supports emotional resilience and reduces stress, but beyond the science, it offers something more immediate. It creates a sense of internal safety. The kind that allows your body to settle rather than brace. Sometimes that looks as simple as catching the tone of your own thoughts and softening them. Speaking to yourself as you would to a close friend who is clearly doing their best in a season that requires more from her than usual.

Perimenopause is often framed as something to endure or get through, but there is another way to see it. As a recalibration. A time when the body asks for a different kind of relationship. One that is less about pushing and more about listening.

There will still be days when emotions feel heightened. That is part of the process. But with the right support, those moments begin to shift. They become less overwhelming, less consuming, and far more workable.

And that is where real change happens. Not in eliminating the waves, but in learning how to move with them without being pulled under.

Your Next Step

If this feels familiar, you might like to begin with something simple. On my website www.kazwaters.com.au, you will find a free guided practice called the 5-Minute Perimenopause Reset, designed to gently calm your nervous system and take the edge off emotional overwhelm in just a few minutes.

You are also warmly invited to join the waitlist for upcoming offerings or book a session if you feel ready for more personalised support.

No urgency. No pressure. Just support, when you are ready for it.