Conscious Relating by Pauline Ryeland

Conscious relating means firstly being 100% true to yourself.  Not hiding or repressing any part of you.  Having the ability to express yourself fully and be in your own power.  It’s not about holding parts of you back or doing things to please your partner to earn their love. 

It also means being in allowance of your partner, embracing their differences, looking at things from their perspective and engaging in connected conversations.  In other words, allowing your partner to be fully themselves and letting go of expectations. 

With expectations comes demand, which is not coming from a place of conscious relating.  When you have a demand, it places judgement of them not doing what you want or expect them to do.

Conscious relating is being fully present within yourself, so that you can be fully present with them.  It’s a relationship that is honouring to yourself and to your partner and a relationship that is full of kindness and care.  Where being together is a contribution to your life in some way.  By having that person in your life enhances your life and makes you a better person.

When anyone comes to see me, whether as an individual or a person in a relationship, or even a couple, the first thing I do is work with them around connection.  Connection to self is paramount for not only having a great intimate and sexual relationship with yourself, it also helps to connect more with your partner.

At the end of the day, when you can connect to yourself more, it creates more presence.  With more presence, you become more grounded, more in your body and less in your head, more in the moment.  When that happens you become more aware and from being more aware it connects you to becoming more conscious. 

When you can truly feel and be present with yourself, is when conscious relating can start to occur.  How do you communicate and connect with your loved one and others?

At the Conscious Connections 1 day workshop for singles and couples on 6 June, we start to explore the connection to self in a much deeper way through embodied practices.  Using breath to move our energy, exploring boundaries and consent, playing with our yes and no, awakening our erotic breath and much more.  This is a great place to start working on conscious relating.

At my Couples Connect retreat 25-27 June on the Sunshine Coast, we work with a series of activities that build this connection, awareness and conscious relating with each other even more.  From here you reconnect, rekindle and dive deeper with each other, creating deeper long-lasting intimacy.  This is all about conscious relating with your partner and teaches life-long practices that will keep the flame burning for many more years.

For more information about the programs please go to my website

Pauline Ryeland

Pauline Ryeland, Intimacy Whisperer®, is a Sex, Libido, Relationship Coach & Educator, working with individuals & couples experiencing challenges with sex and relationships.

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