Do You Find It Hard to Ask for Help? by Jo Shipley

For many people, asking for help can feel almost impossible. The simple act of reaching out can trigger something much deeper inside our core – the debilitating wound of vulnerability. And for some personality characterologies, vulnerability can feel so exposing and activating of our deepest wounds that it is experienced as pure danger.

Instead, many of us put up walls and become fiercely independent, telling ourselves that we do not need anybody. In this act of needing to get things done – for whatever reason – we proudly become resilient, capable, and strong. But maybe, in that place between healthy resilience and pushing through regardless, we’ve forgotten how nourishing it feels to be supported.

It is no surprise that the strongest people are often the ones carrying the heaviest emotional wounds – self-worth, abandonment, lack of self-love, and vulnerability.

I see this regularly in my clients, and in how it shows up in everyday life with the big ‘small tasks.’ The things that can be pushed through on your own, usually because they have been done so before. The task gets completed, life moves on, but afterwards, if you stop long enough to feel into it, there can be a strange hollowness lingering underneath it all.

Because a part of the experience was missing – the vulnerable part. This is the part that needed encouragement, support, or simply someone standing beside you saying, ‘You don’t have to carry this alone.’

For people who have close-knit, loving family networks, you may be lucky that this support exists naturally. But for those moving through divorce, grief, relationship breakdowns, or emotional isolation, asking for help can feel incredibly confronting. Especially when there is no obvious ‘go-to’ person in those intimate moments when you need help.

Yet often – and I can speak from recent experience – there is good news. If you let it in, support is often closer than you may realise.

There is usually a friend, colleague or random lady in a cafe who recently said over coffee, ‘If you need anything, give me a call.’ The interesting thing is how rarely people actually feel able – or willing – to make that call.

Recently, I put this exact situation to the test.

After having friends genuinely offer support, I made a conscious decision to take a deep breath and ask. It was a mental task rather than moving furniture, so I could have pushed through on my own – but I really wanted a supportive helping hand and I knew it would be easier with encouragement. I decided to stop forcing strength for a moment, admit my vulnerability and surrender to the process of being supported.

And something incredible happened – the support was there. The response I received was kind, loving, and generous. My experience became richer, more connected, shared and far less lonely.

What was discovered was that admitting to vulnerability was in fact part of the healing process. Because when vulnerability is avoided, it simply waits beneath the surface for the next moment it can be triggered again. When I met it with love and support, it felt a lot less scary and less like the monster under the bed.

I recommend supporting this level of healing with the Purifying Essence from the Australian Bush Flower range – a blend designed to clear built-up emotional baggage. One of the deepest layers that could be cleared may be the fear of being seen, held, and supported.

Working with the solar plexus chakra can also be powerful. The solar plexus governs self-worth, identity, confidence, and how safely a person can exist in the world as their authentic self. A healthy solar plexus allows someone to be vulnerable without feeling destroyed by it.

The wonderful truth is that if you admit to feeling vulnerable the world does not stop turning. Life continues on around you – and you don’t get exterminated (if you resonate with this feeling, you’ll understand). And often, people are far more compassionate and understanding than expected.

True strength is not always found in holding everything together alone, sometimes true strength is allowing someone to hold space for you too.

For those finding it difficult to ask for help, there may be some emotional hurt around vulnerability ready to be healed. My sessions, workshops, and healing work in Canberra are available for those ready to explore the boundaries of their inner strength.

If you’d like support working through any emotional and physical issues using energy-healing practices, I would love to work with you in my Canberra therapy rooms.

You’re also invited to join me in person for my upcoming Crystal Chakra Workshop series in Canberra throughout 2026 at The H Dispensary, Griffith, ACT. Dates online – bookings via What’s On at The H Dispensary.

Enjoying this content? Tune into my Wellness Valley Podcast, where I speak to inspirational healers and share stories of hope, wellbeing and personal growth (available on Spotify, Amazon and my website).

Find Jo Shipley at linktr.ee/joshipley