Facing Fear and Watching it Dissolve By Alexis Hannagan

 Today I faced one of my biggest fears. 

Someone complained about my retreats and took me to a tribunal.

I lay in bed for days with knots in my stomach. I felt fear, shame, guilt and worry. I lost weight. It was on my back big time. 

I used all my tools today: meditation, breath-work, prayer,yoga, mantras, programming my subconscious. I ate protein/fat and drank plenty of water. 

We entered the big building in Sydney, up to the 66th floor. The government official announces in the room, “our mediator has called in sick. Are you both able to go into a room together and resolve it”. 

I had mantras playing in my bag to clear any blocks. 

It was seriously a scene from a movie 

I took a deep breath and put my best foot forward and said “yes of course, thank you.” 

A thought came into my mind “I have to lead this.” 

I walk out the room with the lady who lodged the complaint behind. I kindly said “shall we use this room.” 

I led and spoke first to answer her main questions. Then I held space as best I could. 

I felt my throat close up a bit, I breathed and commanded it to open back up. 

Mountains of tears erupted down her face as she felt what was really going on. I held a space of compassion and felt love for her, no more fear or anger for both of us. 

I looked deep into her eyes, I saw me in there. I felt we were both little girls scared of speaking up, I could feel it was a divine healing. 

I shared this with her. More tears poured down her cheek. 

It was a miracle. I jumped up and offered a hug, it was received. She said sorry for her behaviour and I gave her a generous package to get her moving forward on her healing journey. 

We walked into that building two women, inner child scared of speaking up and getting in trouble. 

We walked out, two women connected, embodied in love for ourselves and each other. 

Thank you universe. What a wild ride this life is. 

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