On 14 February 1991, I was unaware that I was making some marital promises that I could not keep. This became evident 30 years, later when my divorce finalised on 14 February 2021; the day of love. Ouch!
For some, Valentine’s Day serves as a reminder of love’s ‘four-letter’ word quality. It can hurt, and so fear surrounds it, as attested to by many of my family law clients. You may now have deduced that one of my labels is a ‘lawyer’. Yet why are people afraid of love, when love is supposed to be lovely? Perhaps it’s because humanity has been taught: ‘If I ‘do’ love properly, then I should ‘get’ love back’.
It was during my turbulent marriage that I too questioned love. Some personal breaking apart naturally revealed my shamanic roots. From here my perspective on love shifted entirely, and so did the way I now practice law. What I found was another layer of love. A being-ness of love that exists whether you choose to believe in its existence or not. It is just always right there for you with no conditions. Whilst I had glimpses of it, the big question I had was, how do I gain an ‘all access’ pass to it?
Like the sun in the sky, always shining, but only seeming to disappear from view when a cloud floats by, we disconnect from love when a fear arises. Love is still there, it’s just out of sight disguised by fear.
When you’re able to embrace the idea of ‘being’ love, then you can begin to rest in the tranquillity of that place. It is a resting place. When you begin to embody that tranquillity, then that lovely tranquil vibe emanates from your being. It is felt by everyone you meet, without you having to ‘do’ a thing. The guesswork as to whether you are so-called ‘doing’ love properly is removed when you are just ‘be-ing’ it. Why? Because like the shining sun, you ARE it.
An important factor in how we choose to live life, turns on our governance. Many people are not aware of the impact legal systems have on governing human relationships. I will elaborate on this concept and its effects in coming articles. Relevantly, these systems are devoid of love. Did you know there is no definition of love in the common law? Meaning that we are guided by a system that does not know love. I have chosen to define love as a ‘state of being without fear, which operates for the highest good of all in each moment’.
Given that love is a state of being, much like a physical place, you cannot live in a state of love and a state of fear at the same time. You make a choice in each moment. Time is the key. Love only exists right here and right now. When you find that place of presence where love resides, you are no longer a seeker, and happily, you are no longer in search of what seemed to be missing. It was never missing. It was you all along!
These fears arise from the unconscious rules we each have created. I like to call these rules our internal legal systems. We have placed great value on our fears as we think they will keep us safe. But when we learn to devalue those clouds of fear, our innate love begins to shine through permeating our very being. In coming articles, I will elaborate on how the clouds of fear that block the access to our authentic loving selves came to be.
It might be a cheeky idea, but I believe this life is merely a game. A game in which we face challenges to find our way back home to love. When I teach my clients that they can use natural laws to find love, despite their despair, they start Living Outside the Veil of Ego. Not quite a four-letter word, but almost a great acronym. Connect with Virginia at the Centre for Love and Wisdom: www.colaw.love