The 2 biggest challenges I see men for are around the loss of erection and premature ejaculation (PE).
Men are often too embarrassed to admit they have a problem, let alone take action. Often, they will take action when in a new relationship.
Doctors often prescribe various medications which are really a band-aide solution and if men desire to sort this out permanently then they need to see a Sex Therapist. I have doctors now referring men to me for both of these problems.
Loss of erection can be turned around except in instances where the hormones are low or there is a pre-existing condition such as diabetes and prostate loss.
Premature ejaculation is a lot more complex to resolve, however, it can be. For some men it has been a lifelong issue, commencing as young teenagers, exploring their body and being quick and quiet so they don’t get caught. Sometimes, they will grow out of that and sometimes they don’t.
There are occasions when men can start to experience this later in life, so with either of any of the above scenarios, we have to first dig a bit deeper to see what could be influencing what’s happening. These are some of the things to look at:
- State of physical health such as weight, alcohol consumption, a medication which can affect erection function, recreational drugs, fitness or surgery
- State of mind: anxiety, depression, stress or trauma
- Loss of libido and hormone function
- Problems with a partner other than sexual; abuse, cheating, not getting along
- Past relationships
- Sexual abuse, even if it was a long time ago
- Too much porn
- First sexual experience
From there we look at the mindset and how it’s affecting you and working with resolving the negative states of mind that can obviously occur.
For either situation the first thing is to get out of the head and into the body, meditation is a great place to start. I teach a series of exercises to connect into the body, connect the brain to the genitals to start the re-wiring of the neurological pathways between the brain and genitals.
There are also exercises to strengthen the pelvic floor which is key as well as masturbation techniques to help last longer. We also start working with moving the sexual energy as well as adding specific breath techniques.
With premature ejaculation, there is an extra process, where I teach the body to move away from orgasm, whilst staying aroused and we do that through breath and touch therapy. Here we activate the parasympathetic part of the autonomic nervous system.
For some men it can reverse fairly quickly, for others it takes time, everyone is different.
Pauline Ryeland, Intimacy Whisperer ®