Last month I shared my childhood experience and how it steered me into becoming a people pleaser.
When I woke up from sleepwalking – I wanted to go deeper into the WHYs of my ingrained pattern of PEOPLE PLEASING.
I resorted to healing (inner work), which was painful at first as I didn’t want to see the darker parts I had buried for years.
As they say, when your soul is wide awake, you can’t go back to the older ways. So, the journey of looking at my bare self with flaws, wounds, rip-offs, and pain started.
With the shadow work and healing, I found that:
- I was fulfilling my inner desire to save myself by projecting on the outside world.
- I was filling my deep emptiness by easing out the struggles for others.
- I was so uncomfortable with others’ pain that I would jump to help them straight away, hence shutting my parts that were in pain.
- I felt competent and superior when I was able to put others’ needs first.
- I attracted more broken people like me in my life.
- I never learned to receive. My desires were shunned by myself, thinking they are too crazy.
- I compensated for my shallowness by being the good girl.
- I was getting endorsed, and ego stroked for being such a good girl.
What did I learn:
- Rendezvousing with my true self even when it felt like ripping my sense of self.
- Making a connection with my inner child.
- Facing my suffering instead of running away, no matter how ugly it gets.
- I learned to experience and embrace my darkness, suffering, and pain.
- I realised that I am not the saviour of all. I don’t owe responsibility for others’ behaviour
- I can choose to honour myself first and still love the other person.
- I don’t need to chase any accolades or appreciation anymore.
- Heal myself using various energy healing tools that made me feel empowered.
- Being kind, compassionate, and gentle to myself.
And now, as part of my mission, I work with several women to guide them to honour themselves, free them up from cultural conditioning/old patterns, process their trapped emotions, and heal the wounded parts that were buried in their past lives or childhood. It helps them to shed off the older tape that is manifesting specific experiences in their current life.
If you feel drawn to know more or book a session, here is the link: