Understanding the root of negativity paves the way for profound empowerment. By recognising that this negativity is not inherently a part of you, but rather a learned trait from childhood experiences, is transformative. Last month, you identified the core of your issues and nurtured more of the positive forces that are already at play in your life. Now, it’s essential to tackle a form of self-sabotage: the words ‘I can’t.’
These two words have the power to cause absolute havoc in your life. How often have you thought or uttered them without truly understanding their consequences? How many doors of opportunity have they closed for you? While there are instances where they might be valid, more often than not, they come from a protective mechanism deep within your subconscious—a boundary alert.
I call these subconscious boundaries ‘Mind Marks.’ They are traces of self-limitation, absorbed from your childhood environment and the people around you. However, the beauty of the human psyche is its interconnectedness. Identifying one ‘I can’t’ Mind Mark often brings all the others to the surface.
Exercise: Dismantling the ‘I Can’t’ Mind Marks
- Find a Serene Setting: Ensure you’re in a peaceful place, without distractions.
- Ground Yourself: Settle down comfortably and engage in deep breathing to calm your mind.
- Revisit Your Past: Recall a childhood memory where you were told you couldn’t have something, even if it was as simple as an ice cream.
- Embody Your Younger Self: Step into your child’s body and mind, and witness the event firsthand through the eyes of yourself as that child.
- Feel the Moment: Immerse yourself in the emotions and thoughts that surfaced when you encountered the refusal.
- The Domino Effect: Let your mind wander to other instances where you felt deprived—be it materialistic, like shoes, books, or toys.
- Dive Deeper: Examine the close relationships around you. Were you deprived of affection, words of comfort, shared moments?
- Follow the Money and Food Trail: Reflect upon any memories associated with monetary limitations or food restrictions.
- Connect the Dots: As these memories unfold in succession, take a moment to observe their long-lasting effect and how they’ve woven a recurring pattern in your adult life.
- The Silent Sanctuary: Enveloped within your child’s perspective, sense the stillness around you amidst the memories.
- Delve Into the Silence: Allow yourself to sink into this void, feeling the comfort and stillness.
- Awaken to External Influences: Understand that being told you can’t have, has come from the beliefs and projections of others.
- Discarding Borrowed Beliefs: Recognise that these aren’t your beliefs; they’re someone else’s. They don’t belong to you.
- Exhale and Release: As you breathe through these realisations, feel the weight of these borrowed beliefs lifting.
- Embrace Renewed Freedom: Absorb the feeling of liberation, stepping out of the shadows of others’ limitations and into your newfound space where anything is possible.
In this third instalment of our journey, we delved deeper with a 15-step exercise that builds on our previous discussions about the influences of duality. This exercise helps you to challenge and overcome the self-sabotage of ‘I can’t,’ rooted in external beliefs. By identifying and discarding these borrowed mindsets, you unlock a renewed sense of empowerment. This shift clears the way to embrace an expansive inner space, free from past constraints and open to new possibilities. The next time ‘I can’t’ is on the tip of your tongue, you will immediately stop, there will be a space, and something new will replace the self-sabotage.
Until next month…