I’ve had the privilege of working with clients and hearing and learning about their life and the journey they have been on. I love getting to know people and finding out why they are like they are and what it is that they are desiring in life. I’ve come across clients that want to make changes and do the work. Clients that are in complete denial about all of it and then the clients that want the changes but want the “magic, fix it pill”. You know the one where I wave a magic wand and you and your life is all sorted.
Well it doesn’t work like that. You have to do the inner work. You need to take your time and look within to see what is going on and then do the work. It won’t all be easy but what I know from years of doing my own inner work and seeing clients transform their lives by doing the inner work is that it works.
The work is different for each of us, as we have had different experiences. One technique or strategy may resonate with you and another may not and that is ok. It is a good idea to try a few techniques and see which feels like a good fit at the time and use that. Be consistent with it. You may get to a point where you are ready for another technique or strategy and this is good. Try it, see how it feels for you. Trust that as you start healing you know what you need.
An example of a simple yet powerful technique that I have used many times is to rewrite your story. Simple, effective and creates a different perception of a story you have. I was running a workshop and I’d asked the group to write about a situation each person had and their perception of it, how they felt about it, how they still saw it and how they felt about others that had been involved. What was interesting was how a few in the group still had an intense reaction to the situation and the person involved, even many years later. One lady had shared about her previous marriage ending and what he had done, how it affected her and how her life is now because of him. She said it all with such strong emotion and truly believed every bit of it. After the group had shared their stories I then asked them to rewrite their story but they had to write it how they would like the story to be. After further discussing this they rewrote their stories.
The lady who had shared about her marriage ending started reading her rewrite of her previous story. Half way through she stopped, looked at me wide eyed and said: “I have been holding onto this old story of how he wronged me, how my life isn’t working because of him, when all along I allowed it to affect me, I allowed it to control my thoughts, feelings and every decision I made. And when life didn’t work out for me I blamed him for it all, that way I didn’t have to take responsibility for any of it. I could keep blaming him as to why my life wasn’t working out for me. This changes now.”
This was a defining moment for this lady, as she realised what she had been doing and she was ready to change her life. She did go onto making more changes and completely changed her life around. That was purely by using one simple strategy that I shared and her willingness to look within and do the work. No magic fix it pill here.
When you are ready to do the work and look within to see what is happening and move through it, you will. There may be days where it is uncomfortable, hard and you might think you will never get there but you will if you keep taking small simple steps and do the work. Seek the support and services you need to assist you in making changes and trust that you can.
If you would love some guidance and support in creating change in your life, I hold sessions with clients and would love to hear from you. You can connect with me at www.connectingwithjacqueline.com or email: firstname.lastname@example.org
Love and Gratitude