I find as the seasons change it’s a good time to do some self-reflection on life in general.  If you’re single, look how that feels for you. Are you really happy, or do you really desire to be in a relationship?  If you do, what things can you do to bring about change?  Maybe it’s time to do some inner work to release whatever is holding you back.

Some key aspects can be how you think and project out to the world, that “all the good ones are gone” or “there’s just so many narcissists out there” and I could go on and on here.  If you’re single and on the whole online dating scene it can be very deflating and soul destroying if you allow it to be.  Thinking you have a connection and then next minute, they’ve gone.   Maybe it’s time to really feel into what will nourish you and even do a makeover of your profile, do a refresh.

For those in a relationship, it’s a great time to do a re-evaluation.  Are you plodding along or do you have the same goals you are moving towards.  How can you look at deepening the connection more?

When you’re in a job for a few years you have an assessment of your role, how you are feeling and how you can move forward in your job.  Unfortunately, in relationships, we just fall into them and get on with living and often don’t do a deep look at where you’re at and how you can have your needs met more and how you can take the relationship to the next level.

The biggest key is communication – open, honest conversations from the heart.  Where do you want to be in 12 months, 5 years, 10 years and beyond personally and with your relationship?

If you don’t have movement, growth and change within yourself or your relationship it becomes stagnant.

You can simply start by considering what things you value in your relationship, what you enjoy doing together and what behaviours contribute to you.  Then have a conversation and expand on that.  Look at where there may be some negatives and discuss how things could shift and potentially change so that you are both aligned together moving forward.

Pauline Ryeland

Pauline Ryeland, Intimacy Whisperer®, is a Sex, Libido, Relationship Coach & Educator, working with individuals & couples experiencing challenges with sex and relationships.

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