Vikki SpellerHello beautiful souls! We often find ourselves pulled in many directions, wanting to be there for others while also trying to honour our own needs. This has been highlighted in my life recently and as a women’s coach and a meditation and mindfulness teacher, I’ve seen the struggles many of us face when it comes to setting boundaries. How do we say no to others without feeling guilty? How do we prioritise our own wellbeing without feeling selfish?
Today, I want to speak directly to your heart and share some insights around boundaries and how to say no gracefully while staying true to yourself.
Understanding the Importance of Boundaries
Boundaries are essential for our mental, emotional and physical wellbeing. They help us define what is acceptable and what isn’t in our interactions with others. By setting clear boundaries, we maintain our energy, reduce stress and create space for self-care and personal growth. Without boundaries, we risk burnout, resentment and losing touch with our own needs and desires.
Why It’s Hard to Say No
Saying no can be difficult, especially for women. We’re often conditioned to be caregivers, to put others’ needs before our own. We fear disappointing others or being perceived as selfish. But it’s important to remember that saying no is not a rejection of the person; it’s an affirmation of your own needs and limits. It’s important to take time to reflect on what truly matters to you. What are your non-negotiables? By understanding your priorities, you’ll feel more confident in making decisions that align with your values and goals.
Set Boundaries and Say No with Compassion
Learning to say no with compassion allows you to maintain your relationships while honouring your own needs. Here are some ways to put this into practice;
Communicate Clearly and Kindly: When saying no, be clear and direct but also kind. You can express gratitude for the opportunity while also stating your need to decline. For example, “Thank you for thinking of me but I need to focus on my own wellbeing right now.”
Offer Alternatives: If appropriate, suggest an alternative. For instance, “I can’t help with that project this week but I’d be happy to assist next week.” This shows that you still care and are willing to help within your limits.
Use “I” Statements: Frame your response in terms of your own needs and feelings. This reduces the likelihood of the other person feeling blamed or rejected. For example, “I need some time to recharge, so I won’t be able to attend the event.”
Incorporating Mindfulness Techniques into Boundary-Setting
Mindfulness can be a powerful tool in setting boundaries. By staying present and tuning into your feelings, you can make more conscious decisions. These are my personal favourite mindfulness practices when setting boundaries;
Breath Awareness: When faced with a request, take a few deep breaths to centre yourself. This will help you respond from a place of calm rather than react out of obligation.
Body Scan: Pay attention to how your body feels when you consider saying yes or no. Tension or discomfort may signal that you’re overextending yourself.
Honouring Yourself and Others
Beautiful souls, setting boundaries is an act of self-love and respect. It allows you to show up fully for yourself and others, without depleting your own resources. As the saying goes “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” Practice self-compassion by acknowledging that it’s okay to have limits and by honouring your needs, you’re ensuring that you can continue to be the beautiful, loving and supportive person you are.
Website: www.vikkispeller.com
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If you ever need guidance on setting boundaries or want to explore this further, feel free to reach out. I’m here to support you on your journey to a more balanced and fulfilling life.
With love and blessings,
Vikki Speller
Intuitive Life Coach – Meditation and Mindfulness Teacher – Holistic Counsellor
Best-Selling Author – International Speaker
Charlie Lally
Kathy Wise
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