Surrendering to the Seasons of Your Relationship By Laura Press

Janice and Ben had the most wonderful relationship for three years. 

Until one day, things perceptively changed for them. 

They started fighting and began to find fault in one another whenever the other would say something. 

Half of the conversations would end in tears, anger or upset.

The preceding three years of their relationship were those of mostly connection, love and joy. 

Here are a few important things to take away from Janice and Ben’s story. 

There are seasons to relationships, always.

Your relationship will ebb and flow, and there will be hard, difficult and painful times (sometimes very short-lived and other times for extended periods). 

This is normal.

Hollywood incorrectly suggests that there should always be roses or fireworks and romantic dates every night of the week, but we know this cannot be the case. 

However, if you keep to the mentality of ‘this is a season’ (it’s temporary), you will learn and grow deeper into your love together as you stick it out through the tough times.

You must continue to lean into one another (this is key and not to be overlooked).

What season are you in?

Summer

This is the time to do that hard work; put in the time and effort to ensure your relationship will stand the test of the coming winter. 

The focus of summer is to build a strong, unshakable foundation. 

It is all about preparation. 

There is electric energy and confidence in yourself and your relationship.

Autumn 

Is the release season in your relationship.

It is reevaluating what is or isn’t working. What beliefs, thoughts, and actions need to be let go of?

Think about what needs to be modified or changed in your relationship to enhance your connection, trust, intimacy or love.

Be honest and start a conversation with your partner about what is truly working in your relationship and what patterns or priorities need to shift.

Winter

It can often be the most challenging season in your relationship.

This is when you actively seek more warmth and comfort from your partner.

Even more, time together to connect.

You could feel alone and abandoned by your significant other. Frustrations and depression may be present.

Or, if you have done the hard work and set a great foundation, this is a time for rest and reflection on all the amazing work you have done.

Spring

Spring is the time of new beginnings, a renewed sense of hope and optimism can often be felt. 

It can be a time of falling in love or falling back into love with your partner. 

This is the time to plant the seeds of what you and your partner want for your future. 

These seasons appear in the micro (each year on a small scale or for short periods) or on the macro over the entire duration of your relationship.

The most important thing to remember is not to give up; the spring and summer months always return…

Each season serves its purpose and is necessary for a more connected and loving relationship.

Seek support and set aside time, if necessary, to help you navigate the winter with grace and ease.

The hard work, time, energy, intention and nourishment that goes into your relationship decides how easy or difficult the seasons will be.

Surrender to what is and where you currently are, acknowledge it and look at where you can make small changes to improve what you have. 

Surrender is essential in a relationship and probably one of the most challenging words for people to hear. 

Surrender to your partner, let them in, lower your guard, let them love/support you and allow what is.

From this place, things will change.

Janice and Ben got to a place where they understood the season they were in, decided to do the hard work, and had a more profound and stronger relationship because of it.

What season are you currently in? Comment below and tell me where you think your relationship is and how you could make the most of each season.

Check out great free articles and ideas at https://www.laurapresscounselling.com.au/ to help you through any season of your relationship.

https://www.instagram.com/laurapresscounselling/

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Disclaimer: The article talks about safe, generally loving, healthy relationships only. 

Laura Press

Laura is the founder of Wholehearted Breakthroughs, holds a Master's in Counselling, Guidance & Careers, Bachelor of Biomedical Science and is a Psych-K Facilitator and a Marriage & Relationship Counsellor.

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