The Missing Piece in Self-Healing: Connecting to Your Body’s Wisdom by Rebecca Fellenbaum

You’re not doing it wrong.

You’ve set good intentions, read the books, followed the experts, and tried the self-care practices. Maybe you’ve even attended therapy or participated in a group coaching program. And the needle has moved. You’re more aware of your triggers and making healthier choices. And yet old patterns remain. You slip back. You feel stuck. You don’t trust your progress. You wonder, Why don’t I feel better about myself and my life?

I’ve been there. For a long time, I believed I could think the right thoughts or learn the right mindset and get the relief I was seeking. I wanted to have more patience, less anxiety, and be healthier, so I learned how to do those things, but it didn’t stick. No one told me that you can’t think your way to deep healing. You have to go into the body.

Only a small percentage of our thoughts are conscious. The rest, which make up our beliefs, emotions, and patterns, live in the body. When we stay above the chin, we miss traveling to where true healing can happen.

The good news is that you can connect with your body’s wisdom. There are many ways, like yoga, breathwork, walking in nature, energy work, and meditation. Any practice that helps you feel rather than think gets you into your body.

One of the most powerful tools I’ve found for myself, and my clients is parts work and inner child work. These younger parts of ourselves hold old wounds and protective roles like the perfectionist, the procrastinator, the inner critic, and the people pleaser. Our ego formed these parts to keep us safe. They helped us when we were younger. But as adults, they often run outdated programs that keep us stuck and prevent us from achieving the level of self-healing we desire.

Parts work invites us to bring compassionate awareness to these patterns. We listen. We honor them. We thank them. And in doing so, we update them. This frees us to live more fully as our embodied selves.

How do you begin? Pay attention to how you speak about yourself. Phrases like “There’s a part of me that…” or “I feel a pit in my stomach” point to parts asking for attention. You can also scan your body and imagine turning on an inner headlamp. Notice where emotion or sensation is stored and look in that direction.

Parts, emotions, and energy want to move. When we connect with this inner wisdom, we open the door to calm, clarity, and the freedom we’ve been seeking. In going below the chin, you’ll gain this missing piece, and that’s getting it right. 

Rebecca Fellenbaum is a certified somatic life coach, writer, and Cleveland, Ohio, area mom. She helps moms who have made it on the outside feel great about themselves on the inside so they can enjoy their lives, kids, and families. Find her at rebeccafellenbaum.com.