Joannes SpiritI know first hand how hard it can be to let go, I also know how easy it can be too!
Whether it’s a loved one, a job, a big sum of money, a dear friend, an object, an heirloom, years of work, a habit, a memory, a betrayal, that favourite pair of jeans (that are 2 sizes too small but you are confident they will fit again one day!). No matter what it is, you can let go and you will if you choose.
We attach ourselves to so much in life. Physical items, people, memories, hurts, animals, plants and more. Yet we repost or believe in memes on social media that state, “Nothing is forever”.
I used to get very angry if something of mine became lost, broken, stolen or if I lost someone. It was very much emotion-based attachment and possessiveness, more so than positive emotions.
Once you can identify and recognise what the attachment is to someone or something, it makes it easier to free yourself from the emotional or mental hold. You can still have and love the item or the human being in your life but in a healthier way, where you won’t drown in negativity or an overwhelming feeling of loss if something unfortunate or out of your hands happens.
As a child my loved ones died, my parents divorced, I was separated from my sibling, our dog adopted out, my mother moved us to another country so she reduced our possessions. I couldn’t bring my natural treasures with me and was not given a choice. However I was also raised to keep things as they would be useful, back in trend, worth something etc. It was conflicting, overwhelming and internally destroying.
For years I accumulated “stuff”. I could let go of people in a heartbeat but not material things and pets due to negative childhood memories and beliefs I grew up with. In fact, I’m still parting with material items! It’s getting easier, however I admit I still have ornaments from childhood!
Essentially, we are not the item, we are not the person we share our time with, we are not any different with or without something or someone. We are still us whether we are standing naked in a field or fully clothed in a social gathering. Yes, it’s nice to have props e.g., our items, our friends our partners, our pets but they do not define us.
Love what you have and hold dear to you but endeavour not to attach the belief to any of it that your identity depends on it.
Dr Elaine Cebuliak
Reena Terreping
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