Struggling with feeling overly responsible for others? By Sal Holden

Feeling overly responsible for others is often a big symptom of being in a co-dependent pattern.

Over the years I’ve delved into the depths of co-dependency patterns, recognising my own deeply ingrained behaviours in this realm. Though less frequent now, I still catch myself slipping into over-giving or assuming responsibility for others’ emotions, falling into the “Drama Triangle” characteristic of co-dependent relationships.

This tendency often manifests in intimate relationships, where a desire to solve problems or rescue our partners can inadvertently invalidate their feelings. It’s like trying to fix something that wasn’t broken in the first place. I’ve been guilty of this myself, struggling to hold back the urge to intervene, whether with my kids, friends, or partner.

The root of co-dependency lies in a childhood need to regain control in the face of parental distress. By blaming ourselves for others’ feelings, we create an illusion of control. However, this only leads to frustration and a cycle of trying to change others to suit our needs.

Co-dependency reflects a disconnection from our inner being, as we seek love and approval externally. But true fulfillment can only come from within. No amount of people-pleasing or control-seeking will ever bring lasting happiness or security.

I’ve learned this lesson the hard way, from trying to earn my kids’ love to striving for my husband’s approval. It took years of misery and depression before I realised that true freedom comes from within. When I love myself, I set others free from the burden of meeting my needs.

Breaking free from co-dependency requires inner work and radical self-responsibility. It’s about tuning in to our own needs, desires, and boundaries, and letting go of the need to control or change others. It’s a journey of self-discovery and empowerment, where we reclaim our authenticity and sovereignty.

If you’ve been caught in the web of co-dependency, it’s time to set yourself free. Tune in to your inner guidance, listen to your heart, and take stock of your life. You have all the answers within you.

Remember, co-dependency doesn’t just affect your relationships—it seeps into every aspect of your life, from work to health. But with commitment and dedication to your healing journey, you can break free from its grip and reclaim your vitality and joy.

If you’re ready to embark on this journey of self-discovery and transformation, I invite you to book a complimentary strategy session with me. Together, we’ll chart a course toward greater freedom, fulfillment, and well-being.

Love and Blessings,

Sal x

P.S. If you’re feeling exhausted and burnt out from co-dependency, know that there is a way out. By committing to your healing journey, you can transform every area of your life and step into your true power. Book your complimentary strategy session today—spots are limited! Go to:

Or join my Free Monthly Masterclass on Thriving Independently on Thursday the 16th of May at 10am AEST by joining our Thrive Community here:

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Sally Holden

Sal Holden is a best-selling author, kinesiologist and holistic life coach who empowers women to radically improve their well-being and energy on all levels and gives them the skills and strategies to create their most Joyful Life.

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