This is a story I wrote a while ago that I feel you may relate to. Sharing from my heart, from me to you.
For many years I had this crippling sense about me. I thought there was something fundamentally wrong with me.
It wasn’t always something I consciously saw but it affected every part of my life.
I would push people away and question why they would be around me.
What did they see in me, what value did they see that I couldn’t fathom?
My self-esteem was nonexistent, yet I was great at showing a bubbly happy face.
Only those closest to me saw the cracks in the facade.
Rage and grief, pain so deep, I couldn’t eloquently describe.
Unconscious behaviours and lashing out.
Yet still they stayed.
As I walked through the darkness, my husband and best friend stayed by my side.
Slowly, I learnt and grew, and I changed, as the years marched on by.
I saw glimmers of possibility, of who I could be, whilst before, I saw darkness and restriction.
The time in the darkness seemed to last an age and then slowly, the light started to shimmer, gaining my attention and notice.
The shadows were lengthy & contained many stories.
And one day I started to see these stories for what they were.
Teaching moments, experiences of what was present at that time and something I could put down, no longer required, or needed.
I put my trust in their visions of who I was and started to believe.
I learnt to trust myself, more and more, day by day.
My relationships deepened and I started to open up more, in ways still unfolding.
I found the strength within; the spark of magic waiting for me to notice and remember.
Change can be slow and also happen in an instant.
We can plod along, wishing and praying, yet not knowing. Not trusting in the unknown.
We don’t realise the progress and shifts we make, as we are living in this moment.
Sometimes caught up in our minds, looking to the past or the future.
When we can breathe and take a moment to reflect, then we will know, deep within our soul.
Acknowledge and accept what was. Plan for what could be. Life is even more magical than we may believe. Time to open up.
Poem
Once upon a time
I didn’t feel brave
I wondered & laundered
Afraid to be
Aware of my insecurities
Locked in and feeling helpless
To an illusion given too much power
Powering untruths
Distorting who I could be
One day I stopped feeding this story
I let go and chose
Another way to be
The story continues
As life never ends
Truly, I see
The magic and peace within
Truth shining clearly
Once the clouds of doubt
Drifted away
So light could
Find its way in
May you find your way through life with more ease and love.
To book a 1:1 reading with Alexis, please visit: www.alexismoon21.com
Join Alexis’ group on Facebook: Inner Sanctum
And on Instagram: AlexisIntuitive
Add comment